I went in to see Isobel at a quarter past five. I fed her tea consisting of cheese and tomato omelette followed by a rather exotic fresh fruit salad and arctic roll. Isobel washed this down with a mug of tea, but her afternoon tea was sitting cold and undrunk on the table. I reminded the carer that Isobel needed to be either given the drink or supervised to start drinking it, even if Isobel said she would drink it in a minute, if it was put on the table she would forget about it within a few seconds.

Isobel was alert and cheerful. Her speech was rather vague and it was difficult to establish the subject of some conversations. We discussed the date and how it was the last day of 2009, but she was not able to name 2010 as next year. Some time after tea Isobel had a banana to eat and finished off the last few biscuits from the tin the girls from school brought in a month ago - there are at least three more boxes and tins of biscuits in the room! By this time Isobel was showing some signs of tiredness and I left at twenty five to seven.

I had a discussion with the nurse. She said that there was no doubt that Isobel was starting to sleep for longer periods. On several occasions she had needed to be woken for meals. Following our earlier discussions, the doctor had seen Isobel today and concluded that she was sometimes failing to mention headaches (not really any surprise in this). In the circumstances she had prescribed two paracetemol three times a day. It is very likely that the longer periods of sleep and intermittent headache are a reflection of tumour growth. Another nurse mentioned that Isobel had briefly been out of her bed on Boxing Day when the air mattress failed and had to be changed, I had not previously been aware of this.

Isobel had a busy day of visits today.

Louisa and Teri from the school went in at mid-day and supervised lunch which as usual was eaten in full. They found Isobel very tired but otherwise OK.

Keith and Liz went in during the afternoon for what was intended to be a brief visit once they had seen how tired Isobel was; but Liz left her handbag behind and they had to drive back to collect it, finally leaving Isobel only five minutes before I arrived. Apart from being so tired that she dozed off a couple of times, they found Isobel in a good mood and able to talk about the film she was watching, Mary Poppins.

I arrived at ten past five and found Isobel in a good mood. She remembered Keith and Liz's visit (At the time I thought they had left half an hour before on the basis of the visitors log, I was unaware they had come back for Liz's handbag and that I had only just missed them). Isobel was a bit hazy about Louisa and Teri's visit. Isobel was certainly tired, but was still watching Mary Poppins with considerable attention. I fed Isobel her tea of spaghetti rings on a couple of rounds of toast. For some reason she had not ordered any desert, this is unusual but she said she had not fancied one. I have reservations about this statement as she would have ordered this meal early yesterday and would not have had any idea how she would feel today. I'll keep an eye on this over the next few days. It would be better to order a desert which is left partly uneaten - the staff are used to this. Anyway, Isobel will not starve as she had a banana and two lots of grapes after tea. Although clearly tired she watched a Wallace and Gromit film, commenting occasionally on the plot and characters. Isobel ate a little box of four Ferrero Rocher chocolates before I went home at 7pm.

I got carried away by the joy of hacking holes in brickwork in the living room and left late for the Centre. By the time I arrived at 5.30pm Isobel was just finishing being fed her tea. I commented on the open door of the empty room opposite Isobel's. Isobel said that she believed that Christian who had been in the room for about a month had died. I believe that Isobel is correct; there had been almost constant visitors for several weeks followed by a few days with the door shut and then the removal of Christine's name from the door. Isobel had observed this and drawn the logical conclusion, showing that she notices more than is sometimes apparent. We talked about what would eventually happen to Isobel, she was very sensible about this. This is the first time Isobel has felt like talking about the future course of her illness.

Isobel's speech was rather worse tonight than last night. At times it was difficult to ascertain the topic of conversation, especially towards the end of my visit. About an hour after tea Isobel ate four chocolates, a banana, some grapes and three biscuits. She had a beaker of fruit juice but would not drink it and declined the offer of other drinks but said she would have tea as usual last thing tonight. She did eat some more grapes before I left at about twenty to eight.

I went in to see Isobel at a quarter past five. She was bright and cheerful. I had brought a fruit bowl and she ate a banana and some grapes straight away.

For tea I fed her sausages and chips followed by pear tart. We watched Pride and Predudice on television and Isobel was able to have some discussion about the plot. She ate another banana and some more grapes. After half past six Isobel appeared to be getting tired, although she said that she was not tired. I left at seven o'clock.

I went in to see Isobel at 4pm. I think she may have been dozing before I arrived as she did not have the television on. As there is so little she can do now to entertain herself she usually has the television on during the day and she either watches it or simply has it as background noise. She was cheerful and confirmed there had been no pain in her head. She was a little peckish so she had half a dozen chocolates and a banana before tea. We chatted for a while, I explained that Iona was at Jon's family today and would not be in - she has recovered from the sickness yesterday. When I went to see if Euan was coming in today at half three I found he had gone to sleep; perhaps this was not surprising as he had been drinking spiced rum in Eynsford until Claire (a very sensible and sober person) returned him home at sometime around 4am.

I fed Isobel her tuna salad for tea. This is one of my least favourite meals to feed as it includes several substances I don't like and is fiddly to get on the fork. There was a mountain of shredded tuna with sliced beetroot, cucumber, tomato and onion with lettuce. Although Isobel always has alternative meals to order, I think she usually chooses the first one. This does not matter much as she is eating everything put in front of her. It does account for the lack of range of deserts I think. Today it was again trifle, which comes as very large helpings which are eaten in less than a minute.

After tea we settled down to watch the start of the film "The Heroes of Telemark" (an unusual film, as the reality was more extraordinary than the film). Isobel was able to discuss the the strategic significance of the events in the film at a moderate level. I had brought some grapes in and washed a small bunch which Isobel ate. I had also brought a hot cross bun in case Isobel fancied some variety, she ate this after rejecting all the varieties of biscuits in her room. We watched the film and chatted until I left at a quarter to six. It was good to see Isobel back to the form of last week-end after a few bad days this week.

By the time Euan and I had finished delaying each other we did not get to the Centre until well after 7pm. This late arrival did not concern Isobel in the slightest but the staff were fretting! Iona had intended coming in earlier but had spent the day being sick - I wonder why?

Isobel was in a relaxed mood and spent most of the time chatted to Euan about the plot of the film she was watching, one of the Pirates of the Caribbean films. Her speech was OK in short sentences but difficult to follow at other times. We had a long conversation about how she felt, she did not have a headache today, nor any discomfort at all in the place she had indicated yesterday on the right hand side.

Despite Isobel's room being full of biscuits and chocolates, I had brought in some small Bakewell Tarts and Isobel ate one of these with a beaker of tea. We did not stay long as Euan was meeting Claire at Eynsford, we left at a quarter past eight.

The first visit of the day was made early in the morning by Iona and Jon. Iona left her car in the car park for later collection. Although Isobel had apparently (I forgot to check the food log later) had her usual breakfast of a couple of rounds of toast she had gone back to sleep by the time they arrived just after ten. They stayed for a short while but Isobel showed no sign of waking so they left and came to our house. After a short while Jon left for his parents' hose and Euan and Iona started on the preparation of the Christmas dinner. This required them to go and sit in the bed watching an Indiana Jones film while I re-organised the kitchen and peeled a mountain of potatoes.

I went in to see Isobel, arriving at twenty to one. This was a flying visit, as Euan was convinced the dinner would be ready in forty five minutes. I was disappointed to find that Isobel had already had her dinner. As expected she had not left her bed. I saw the group who had dined in the lounge on the way in and it was much less than half the residents - there are a lot who do not move out of their rooms and some are much more dependent than Isobel. Isobel said that she had enjoyed her dinner. She was in a cheerful mood and her speech was much better than yesterday, even though not as good as at the start of the week. We opened a few more of Isobel's presents, mostly edible but there were two interesting pairs of angora socks which might be useful for wear in bed when she lies on the bedsheets, although the room is usually very warm (and was positively tropical today). I left at just after 1pm.

At home there was a flurry of activity, but the dinner did not appear for an hour. It was worth waiting for. The fillet steak, from "Dennis of Bexley" who have a very high reputation was the best I have tasted for many decades; beautifully flavoured but almost dissolving in the mouth. The roast potatoes were as near perfect as can be imagined, cooked in butter with fresh Rosemary. The baked peppers were merely very good, the green beans and baked beans just made up the numbers but it was overall an exquisite meal, a real pleasure to eat. Euan was the chief cook with Iona as his assistant. the only drawback was that Iona and I were unable to do justice to the very good St Emilion which accompanied the meal.

After a necessary period of relaxation after the meal I went back into the Centre at just after five. Iona felt the need to continue her post-meal lie down and watching of another Indiana Jones film! Isobel was sitting up in bed watching television. Soon after I arrived, Isobel had tea. I fed her cocktail sausages, a scotch egg, a piece of pork pie pie, a cheese and pickle sandwich and a salad sandwich. This was followed by a huge helping of trifle and cream. While she drank her tea she also had a few chocolate biscuits. I gave Isobel details of the various telephone conversations I had since my previous visit. I left soon after six to collect Iona.

I returned with Iona at just after seven. Isobel was thirsty and had two beakers of squash. We sat and chatted for a while, opening the last of Isobel's presents. I am very pleased that everything she has been given will be eaten or used. Isobel said that she was happy with the way the day had been. Iona left just before a quarter to eight, she was going on to festivities with Jon's family at one of his aunt's houses in Swanley. Today snow and ice has finally cleared from most low lying areas but there were still substantial piles of ice in the Centre car park.

Isobel and I watched Dads' Army together. She opened a small pack of rather superior chocolates my brother had given her and graciously gave me one before eating the rest! Isobel had touched her head several times during the evening and when the nurse arrived to give her the evening dose of medicines we cross examined her and established that she did have some discomfort high on the right hand side although she would not admit it was a headache. This is the same spot suspected earlier in the week. Tonight she had two Paracetemol tablets, in the past these have been completely effective at controlling headaches, but the problem will have to be watched carefully as Isobel is not willing to admit when she has pain. I am concerned that these two instances have been at the same point on the head, away from the surgery site where previous headaches have been centred. I left Isobel just before a quarter to eight, she was showing no signs of tiredness.

Finally, one piece of good news that made Isobel happy. Iona is expecting a baby. It is not due until August.

Luisa and Teri from school went in to see Isobel for three quarters of am hour this afternoon.

I went in to see Isobel at just before half five, she had already finished her tea by the time I arrived. She was in a slightly fretful mood. She had very little to say about Luisa and Teri's visit. Isobel's speech was very poor indeed this evening. We had a number of conversations in which we never managed to agree what we were talking about. This is a complete contrast to Sunday and Monday.

Isobel did not want any fruit or chocolate but ate about half a dozen biscuits. She was having problems manipulating biscuits into her mouth and needed assistance on several occasions, this is not usual. Isobel did not have any headache today and said that she had not had a headache last night after I had left. I put up the rest of the Christmas cards and two token bits of tinsel, Isobel was happy with the result. The plan for tomorrow is for me to go in during the late morning and stay through her Christmas lunch; with us eating a bit later at home.

I left Isobel at just after a quarter past seven. I felt she was worse all round today. She even moaned when I left that she would be on her own.

Wednesday's blog.

This is a late posting of Wednesday's blog as I got back very late from my brother's after drinking a lot of wine.

I went in to see Isobel just after four o'clock. She ws in a cheerful and relaxed mood. Her speech was not as good as it had been on Sunday and Monday, but was still not bad.

I put the rest of the cards up in her room and wrote her cards for the staff. I took a card down to Christine in room 25 who turned out not to be the woman I had thought she was.

Isobel had beans on toast for tea - two rounds and a mountain of beans, for once the meal took more than a few seconds to feed her. For desert she had strawberry mousse. About half an hour later she ate an orange and a bar of chocolate. I forgot to bring in the grapes, a pity as Isobel had finished those Dallas had brought in the previous day.

I believe that Isobel had a slight headache. She indicated some discomfort, but of course as soon as we started discussing this she denied it was at all bad. I had a word with the nurse before I left and she will be cross examined again about this when she has her mug of tea and biscuits in the evening. The position that Isobel indicated was high on the right hand side of the head, this is away from the original tumour site. I went home just after 6pm, for dinner with Keith and Liz.

There will be no especial arrangements for Christmas day for Isobel, apart from the Christmas menu of course. There is nothing that she wants apart from to be disturbed as little as possible. I don't expect she will join the other residents for dinner, but that is her choice. I expect I will be in there for a couple of long visits and the children will cook our steak dinner at home, it will not be like any other Christmas.

I went in to see Isobel today with Dallas who had driven down from Milton Keynes. We arrived long after lunch and found Isobel alert and chatty. Her speech was perhaps not as good as the previous day, but still much better than usual. She and Dallas had an animated conversation. Dallas had brought with her two bunches of grapes and Isobel ate about half of these as we talked.

I was surprised to be given a copy of an e-mail by the nurses. It was from one of my old university friends, Geoff Dendle, who had lost our address but tracked down where Isobel was now living from details in the Christmas card. He had known Anne and was shocked to learn the same illness had affected Isobel. He had met Isobel once about twenty years ago. I had a long chat by telephone with him in the evening.

Jane and Derek had come in to see Isobel for an hour or so in the morning; Isobel remembered their visit and made some amusing comments about Derek.

We left Isobel at about a quarter to four, it was very light compared to yesterday and the roads posed no problems (not even when we diverted into the icy narrow back streets at Maypole to deliver a present to Anneyce).

I spent most of the evening on the telephone, firstly to Geoff and then to Isobel's mother. Then I had a call from a friend of Anne's mother's advising that she was recovering from a bad fall and mild stroke and would be spending Christmas and the New Year in a nursing home at Aberaeron.

I went in to see Isobel at ten to two, hoping to entice her into the wheelchair and down to the lounge to see the dancing dog. There was no chance of managing this! Isobel was resolute that she did not want to move from her bed, not even to see an amazing dancing dog. Isobel ate a caramel bar and a small bar of milk chocolate from one of the boxes Jess had brought in. I had brought in with me the Christmas cards from home and showed them to Isobel and talked about who had sent them. I did not put any more up in her room as I had not yet done the reorganisation.

Isobel's speech was good today. Conversations in short sentences were almost faultless. With her mid-afternoon tea Isobel had scone with jam. After, still feeling a bit peckish, she had a banana and half a dozen biscuits. It turned out there were two performing dogs, and they made separate visits to Isobel's room to perform for her. Milo is a Labrador, and while I would not say that he actually dances, he does perform a series of actions in response to spoken instructions that are very impressive. It is interesting to see a heavy dog throwing himself around so agilely. He has apparently appeared at Crufts. The second dog was Josie, a border collie who was abandoned when six months old and then spent as long in a rescue kennels. Josie does a similar range of tricks to Milo, but also does spectacular jumps and pirouettes - again, not really dancing but certainly impressive. We needed to clear the main part of the room to make space for her performance. Isobel enjoyed the dogs performances and made a fuss of them afterwards.

Soon after the dogs had left, the doctor appeared and gave Isobel her swine flu jab. The doctor had decided that it was best not to adjust the dexamethasone dose as it also has a role in controlling fluid in the brain and the effects of reducing the dose were uncertain.

I sorted out the rubbish in the room and got rid of the flowers that had now died. I found an additional box of biscuits and another box of chocolates in Isobel's clothes drawers - this is as well as the tins and boxes in the warderobe and the chocolate in her bedside cabinet and the biscuits and chocolates under the television. If cut off by blizzards Isobel could probably live for a week on the food in her room! This of course reflects my advice to visitors and the difficulty in giving Isobel anything that she will use and enjoy. There is no doubt that she does enjoy biscuits, chocolate and fruit. The problem with fruit is that she needs help with it, although the carers will do this for Isobel, she will not ask. Towards the end of my visit Isobel's speech did get a little more rambling, but on the whole it has been much better than usual in the last two days.

I left at twenty to four, finding that in the last few minutes of my stay a blizzard of heavy but very wet snow had begun. The was no problem going down the sloping drive or on the lane, but by the time I got to Wilmington the snow was lying thickly on the refrozen snow and ice from last week. There were no real problems driving slowly and carefully across Dartford Heath and down the A2 although there was a long queue of barely moving vehicles on the exit lane at the Black Prince. By the time I crossed the A2 bridge and got to the bottom of Gravel Hill, less than half a mile from home, it had taken over forty minutes for a journey that normally takes fifteen minutes. Progress on Gravel Hill was very slow; as a Marks and Spencer's lorry six cars in front of me was having difficulty making any progress. It took over ten minutes to negotiate the first two hundred yards of the hill. During this time the feel of the road surface was changing as the falling snow became thinner but much drier as the temperature plummeted and the wet underlying material froze. The lorry finally stopped on the steepest part of the hill. The first four cars behind the lorry got past it with a lot of difficulty but the car in front of me had all kinds of problems, sliding broadside on to the slope. Although I had left a lot of space in front of me it was worrying to see its reversing lights come on several times. I got out of my car and spoke to the driver of the car in front who said he had been unable to make progress and was considering turning round! I pointed out a possible route through the ridges of ice and compacted snow caused by previous traffic and he managed to follow this. I checked with the lorry driver that he had given up trying to make progress and had tucked his lorry into the kerb - this made enough room for cars to pass safely just below the brow of the hill. I did a bit of ice engineering and briefed the car behind to follow me, then drove along the optimum route without any difficulty followed by at least a dozen cars, which should have cleared the route sufficiently. I was home a minute later. The saga on Gravel Hill had taken twenty five minutes for a normally thirty second drive. It took Iona over two hours to get back from Welling and both her staff meeting in Wilmington and her meal in Blackheath were cancelled. There were no sightings of gritting lorries until almost 11pm.

With a very great sense of relief I was able to visit Isobel after an interval of six days. I went in just before a quarter to five and found her in a cheerful good mood. We had a long chat before her tea arrived rather late at a quarter to six. Isobel immediately commented that she knew I had not been able to come in as I was ill. Her speech was pretty good, subject to the usual reservation that long conversations drifted off into incomprehensible areas.

For tea Isobel had ham and tomato omelette followed by trifle and cream. After tea we sat and chatted while Isobel also watched the end of an old film on television. During this time isobel ate six shortbread biscuits, a banana, a fudge mar and a small bar of milk chocolate. The dancing dog is performing again at 2pm tomorrow in the louge at the Centre and Isobel has agreed in principle to leave her bed and observe it. Those of you who know of the scorn with which she has declined to watch previous performances by the dancing dog will be surprised by this, but we will see what actually happens.

I had a long chat with the nurse. We have sorted out the swine flu vaccination; the completed authority was left in Isobel's room last Sunday and had not been picked up during the week when I did not visit; no harm has been done, she will have the jab tomorrow. We also discussed the length of time Isobel has been on dexamethasone. Now that it is not needed to maintain her balance it may be possible to reduce it, perhaps eventually to stop it altogether; this will be discussed with the doctor tomorrow. Isobel will of course be back on this steroid at some stage to control fluid within the brain. It is possible that Isobel's period of sleep is getting slightly longer but there is no clear trend at present. Today Isobel seems to have had a very slight discomfort in her head, she said it was on the left hand side (tumour position) but indicated high on the right hand side. It did not need painkillers, but we are watching for any sign of non-transient pain that may ne connected to tumour growth.

I did a bit of general housekeeping in Isobel's room, but the cards and flowers will need to be sorted out tomorrow. She was still alert and chatty when I left at a quarter past seven.

No-one from the family saw Isobel yesterday, but the reduction in visits this week does not seem to have affected her.

My brother and his wife, Liz, went in today and reported that Isobel was happy and alert and generally on the ball. As usual there was some difficulty following all the details of her speech but she was much more lively than at the timer of their last visit.

Jacquie visited later in the afternoon for over an hour and gave a very similar report, finding Isobel generally better than at the time of her last visit.

I hope to be able to visit Isobel tomorrow.

Today was the first day no-one from the family visited Isobel. I remain ill and infectious with swine flu, Iona was vomiting all day at work and thought it prudent not to visit her mother after work.

Hopefully one of us will be able to visit tomorrow; but my brother may visit in the evening otherwise.

Iona reports that Isobel is pretty much the same as yesterday.

I was again unable to see Isobel today.

Iona went in and stayed for a long time chatting. Isobel was in a cheerful mood but was not too good at following the conversation.

I am not likely to go tomorrow. Iona will go in after work (she is rostered to do a half day only tomorrow).

I did not get in to see Isobel today, as I was too ill.

June and Angie visited during the evening. Isobel was OK, her speech was fine in short sentences.

Sunday's blog

This is a very late blog for Sunday.

I went in to see Isobel at about half past four. I fed her ham omelette for tea, followed by trifle. Isobel was relaxed and in a good mood. She had a beaker of blackcurrant squash before her meal and a mug of tea after it. Isobel's speech was better than it has been for months, but I could not stay long and had to leave at a quarter to six in order to eat the chili con carne Euan had cooked. By the time I had got home I was shivering convulsively, sweating, had a blinding headache and other boring symptoms. I went to bed at 8pm, I did not surface until mid-day Monday and will not be able to see Isobel today. June and Angie are going in to see Isobel this evening.

A rather late blog for Saturday as I spectacularly overslept. We stayed up rather late on Friday night, Rhoda, Robert Euan and myself were talking in the kitchen. When I went to bed I did not sleep well in the spare bedroom, and decided to have a nap at 6pm before dinner yesterday, I woke up at 10am Sunday morning!

After breakfast on Saturday, Rhoda, Robert and myself went in to see Isobel at 10am. She was back to normal compared to the previous day, although apparently still rather tired. She was pleased to see her sister, but conversation was of course not without some difficulties. Owing to lines getting crossed Iona did not come at the same time as was originally intended, Iona was upset at not seeing Rhoda and Robert. Robert and Rhoda stayed until twenty past twelve, then said goodbye and went down to the Chequers, the pub at the end of the drive, for lunch. After they had gone I few Isobel lunch - orange juice, followed by sausages, mash, cabbage and swede, followed by syrup pudding with custard. After lunch we went through the early retirement form and Isobel signed it (this is the form she was not willing to sign last year). I then went down to the pub at twenty to one and joined Rhoda and Robert who were finishing their meal. They went off to Yorkshire soon after one o'clock. I went up to see Isobel again until about twenty past two. She was fairly tired by the time I left but had been in a good mood throughout.

This is a late posting of Friday's blog.

I went in to see Isobel just after 5pm; she had already had her tea. She was in an agitated mood and for the first twenty minutes it was difficult to understand anything that she was saying. She had obviously had a visitor as two boxes of chocolates and a book were on her table. Isobel was unable to describe the visitor beyond saying that she was a woman; and was coming back again to read more of the book to her. I asked the nurses if they knew who the visitor had been. They said the she said she was Isobel's sister. She had been with Isobel for some time and had declined their offers of food. later I spoke to Isobel's mother by 'phone and discovered that Jessica had come down to London in order to go to a concert in the evening and had driven over from Lee to see Isobel and had stayed for about four hours. possibly the duration of the visit had tired Isobel out. It was surprising that Isobel could not recall who hd visited her.

After twenty minutes it was possible to have short conversations with Isobel and she was much calmer. I had a long conversation with the nurses regarding the continuing difficulty of getting Isobel out of bed, she remains resolutely opposed to this and will not socialise with the other residents. I offered Isobel a biscuit and, as on the previous day she ate half a box of biscuits very rapidly. She was calm and tired when I left shortly after 7pm.

Rhoda and Robert arrived later in the evening, and will come in and visit Isobel tomorrow.

I went in to visit Isobel just before 5pm. I found her with an amusing bag containing a scarf and some toiletries which had been left by Miranda when she visited the previous evening. I spoke to Miranda by 'phone later in the evening; the intense pressure which she has been under at her school has eased and she is beginning to behave like a normal human being again. Miranda had found Isobel in a happy and chatty mood, although she sometimes had difficulty following Isobel's conversation. She was heartened by seeing "flashes of the old Isobel".

I spoke to the staff concerning Isobel's fall from bed on Wednesday morning. There have been no further incidents. Isobel was examined by a doctor today and no after effects could be found. I expressed the view that this fall was probably similar to the incidents which had happened very often at home, Isobel drops her legs over the side of the bed and then sort of slides out of the bed. This is not a free fall and makes no noise. The bed is always kept at its lowest setting unless someone is with her during the day, the addition of the air mattress does make the distance from the ground a few inches higher. My own opinion is that further incidents of this sort may well occur. I spoke to Isobel about the incident, she does not seem to have any real memory of it. It does not seem to have caused her any distress, either now or at the time it happened.

Isobel was again in a good mood, relaxed and chatty. Her speech was moderately good, although needing frequent clarification. After I had been in almost half an hour her tea arrived. This was tomato soup, egg salad and peaches with ice cream. As usual the food was dispatched within a few minutes, washed down by a mug of tea. We continued to chat and watched a couple of quiz programmes on television. Isobel decided she wanted a couple of biscuits, but finished off the tin brought in by her TAs - about twenty biscuits, almost a meal on their own. Although we spent a lot of time talking, the quality of Isobel's speech did not seem to change today - perhaps I am overdoing my efforts to find a pattern. Isobel was interested in my progress with the Christmas cards and had mentioned this to Miranda the previous day. I left Isobel watching the snooker on television when I went home soon after 7pm.

I went in to see Isobel at about a quarter past one. An incident had occurred earlier in the day which I was not aware of at the time, but it is mentioned at the end of today's blog.

Isobel was again bright and cheery. She had already had her lunch and was watching television when I arrived. We talked for an hour or so. Her speech was fairly good. Isobel's replies to my comments usually made sense but when she tried to change the direction of the conversation it was difficult to follow where it was going. We discussed the details of the new power sockets for the living room and it was clear she was remembering accurately how the room was laid out. Isobel ate half a dozen of the fancy biscuits delivered by the TAs from school. I tidied away some of the flowers which had died, before leaving at twenty to three.

I stopped off to pick up some electrical parts on the way home. When I got home I received a call from the Centre to say that they had intended to intercept me as I left, in order to tell me about an incident early this morning. The usual hourly safety checks had been completed but when they came to give Isobel her breakfast they found her lying on the floor. There was no physical damage visible, no bruises etc. Isobel had not called out. She had fallen a short distance from the bed in its lowest position onto the floor (perhaps twenty inches, I'll check tomorrow). She showed no signs of discomfort. We will discuss it further tomorrow, but this is why it was so important for Isobel to have the special low bed. Isobel did not mention this incident at all during my visit.

I went in to see Isobel just before 3pm. She was as usual lying on the bed. She was cheerful and her speech was fairly good. In terms of meaningful conversation this was one of the best days since she went into the Centre.

With her afternoon tea Isobel had a scone with jam. Isobel followed the programme "Countdown" on television closely, but was not able to solve any of the problems although she understood what they involved. I had to leave before Isobel's evening meal arrived as I was expecting to teach tonight, but the session was cancelled. I put away Isobel's birthday cards as Christmas cards are starting to arrive.

I have just remembered that there are photos of the birthday party last week, I'll post them here in the next few days.

Monday's blog

I left the house at 3pm with the car packed mainly with filthy perished hessian and rubber carpet underlay from the living room and a few more black sacks. I dropped this load off in the pouring rain at the Thames Road re-cycling centre and drove to Iona's house via the new road, hardly being held up at the M25 interchange although the roundabout was solid with lorries trying to force their was onto the jammed motorway. I checked Iona's house was secure, but failed to find the dog lead. I drove to the Centre, but was stuck in a jam on Green Street Green Road for twenty minutes so the planned brief quarter of an hour visit became an even briefer five minute call. I noticed from the visitors log that Chris Richmond had visited earlier in the day. Isobel seemed bright and alert, but had completely forgotten that Chris had visited, despite being part way through a packet of wafer biscuits Chris had left. I explained that this was a flying visit and that I would return after sorting out Iona's dog, but this might be as late as eight o'clock.

I drove slowly to Shorne in appalling weather conditions with very limited visibility on the A2. The boarding kennels shut at 5pm and I was anxious not to be late, I arrived at a quarter to five and there was a long delay before Billy was produced in his cat (!) box. I carefully drove back to Iona's house and fed Billy. I could not take him for a walk as the dog lead was still missing but decided to sit with him for an hour or so to help him re-adjust - it is the first time he has been in kennels. This would give a chance for the rain and rush hour traffic to ease off, there was no point sitting in a jam on the way to Isobel again. It was almost 8pm before I got to the Centre. Isobel had long since eaten her tea of corned beef and chips and was a large part of the way through Chris' packet of biscuits, I helped her to finish them off as I had not eaten since lunchtime. Isobel was cheerful, but her speech was often difficult to follow although she was again persistent in eventually clarifying what she was talking about. We had a mug of tea each and chatted until 9pm when I went home.

Iona 'phoned after 11pm to say they had just arrived back at Luton Airport after a nightmare weekend on the Canary Isles; they would get back to Stone about 3am. She reminded me Billy's lead was red, not green as I had thought, and I immediately found it. I drove over to Stone and took Billy for a walk at midnight.

Postponement of Monday's blog

Mondays blog will appear on Tuesday.
Nothing dramatic has happened but I have to go out unexpectedly at 11pm.

I had intended to visit Isobel on the way back from collecting Euan from Gravesend, but he was adamant that he needed to return straight home, so it was almost five o'clock by the time I got to Isobel. She was again in a good humour, but as usual was lying on the bed fully clothed and had not got off the bed all day. Her speech was fairly difficult to follow but she was able to make her meaning clear eventually, something that does not always happen. I gave her details of the various telephone conversations I had last night. She confirmed that Miranda had not been in to see her, something that Chris Richmond had expected to happen on Saturday, but I had not been able to get hold of Miranda to check when she was coming in. We discussed the practical difficulties of getting her and her mother to physically meet, as her mother's doctor has advised against long distance travel. Jessica said last night that she thought her mother was increasingly frail. I believe that not seeing her mother is a major regret to Isobel.

After we had chatted for over half an hour, her tea arrived. I fed Isobel prawn salad followed by trifle. She is still getting through all her food very quickly. After a mug of tea, Isobel ate the last two slices of Louisa's cake (or was it Teri's cake?). Then she moved on to finish the second half of a pack of chocolate pearls, the last remnant of Zoë's box.

By six o'clock it was clear that Isobel was rather tired, she seemed to doze off for a few seconds twice while I was sorting out things in the room. I removed a lot of dead flowers from the zygocactus; it is almost finished and will probably come home tomorrow. Isobel had perked up again by the time I left at ten to seven. I had a long chat on the way out with the nurses. We agreed it would be a wholly good thing if Isobel was to move around more, but none of us can convince to do anything outside her room or even to sit in the chair beside the bed. I spent quite a lot of time tonight cross examining Isobel about how she felt and she says that she is happy spending her time the way she does. Although she does very little, she has suffered such terrible damage over the past two years that she does not seem to need anything in the way of entertainment. Earlier today I had bumped into Jane and Derek at the shops, they commented on how scathingly Isobel had spoken about such Centre entertainments as the dancing dog! I left at about ten to seven, calling in at Iona's empty house on the way home to check everything was OK.

My visit to Isobel today was made later than usual, after I had taken Euan and his games equipment to Gravesend. Driving conditions were appalling in torrential rain. I arrived at the Centre shortly before half six. Looking at the visitors signing in log I was surprised to see Louisa and Teri had arrived soon after I left the previous evening and stayed until 8pm. When I spoke to Isobel, she had forgotten their visit, but evidence remained in the form of four slices of uneaten sponge cake.

After we had chatted for a while, Isobel asked me to turn the television on and she watched Alan Bennett with some interest. Isobel's speech was difficult to follow, a complete contrast to several other days this week. I fed Isobel two slices of the sponge cake. Afterward Isobel fancied some chocolate, so I opened the last little package from Zoë's box so she could have a couple of chocolate pearls; in no time at all she had eaten half the packet. I changed the water in the flower vase and took a large number of dead flowers from the zygocactus. Isobel was in a good humour and I left at about a quarter to eight, calling in at Iona's empty house on the way home to check everything was OK.

Having filled the car up with debris from the front room I travelled via the dump to the Centre, arriving at just after 4pm. Isobel was in exceptional spirits, although her speech was difficult to follow at first and became very difficult to follow after six o'clock. Isobel listened with interest as I described my early morning trip to Iona's, to see off Iona and Jon for their long week-end in the Canaries and to mind their dog, Billy, until it was time to deliver it to the kennels in Shorne.

I fed Isobel her tea, consisting of omelette with tomatoes followed by arctic roll. She then had a good number of fancy biscuits and a mug of tea. After six o'clock for half an hour she sustained interest in the World Cup draw on television. She asked for the nurse to be called, but when they came could not explain what she wanted and a conversation at cross purposes ensued. I settled her down again and she had a few chocolates and said that she felt comfortable. When it was time for her to be changed at about 6.45pm I left for home.

The anticlockwise M25 was solid today, and the knock-on effects resulted in chaos on a lot of local roads. Coming along the A2 I avoided the Dartford Heath turnoff as it had a tailback onto the A2 but as a result got stuck for over half an hour on the half mile of link road from the A2:M25 interchange to Princes Road. This runs alongside the M25 just a barrier width away and it was infuriating to see the jammed M25 traffic moving faster than the link road - the result of traffic trying to get onto the M25 standing in the yellow box at the Princes Road roundabout. I did not get to the Centre until twenty past five and expected to be too late to help Isobel with her tea; but it was sitting on her table, sheathed in cling film waiting for the helper to finish feeding another patient. When the helper appeared a couple of minutes later she was surprised and pleased to find me finishing feeding Isobel ham salad and going onto desert of mandarin oranges and cream. As usual, Isobel ate all the food up, very quickly.

Isobel was again in a cheerful and relaxed mood. She said that she had done nothing but lie on the bed watching television all day but had not been at all bored. Her speech was not as good as the previous two days but did not become seriously jumbled until after half past six. I told her that her sister Rhoda was coming down a week tomorrow with Robert. They were leaving Yorkshire after Robert got back from work, so would not reach us until late at night. They would come in to see Isobel on the Saturday morning. She was very pleased with this news. I wondered if she would like all of us to have dinner in the Chequers (the pub just outside the Centre), but she said she did not want to go there herself, however she liked the idea that we should go there then come back to see her again in the afternoon.

Isobel demolished the rest of the chocolates brought by Louisa. Zoë's birthday card, which must have been in transit for the best part of two weeks, finally arrived this morning, so we moved on to investigate more contents of the box Zoë sent earlier. There were some milk chocolate pearls which Isobel fed herself, although I ended up retrieving three that had escaped into the bedclothes on the far side of the bed. We agreed the unusual box was worth re-using to store items in. The pink Kalanchoe that Terri and Louisa had brought in when Isobel first came to the Centre has finished flowering and I took it home for repotting, the Guzmannia that came at the same time is still going strong, the zygocactus is still hanging on - fading but still attractive. Towards the end of my visit Isobel's speech became difficult to follow. I think there are at least two elements involved, straightforward physical tiredness and also a sort of oral tiredness which happens when she has done a lot of talking. On this occasion there was no sign of physical tiredness. I finally left just before half seven.

I went in briefly just after 11am to help Isobel open her birthday cards and check that arrangements were OK for lunch. Isobel was alert and cheerful.

Euan and I went in at half twelve with drinks (non-alcoholic) and mince pies to await the arrival of Iona with the pizza's. When we arrived we were surprised to see Louisa, who had popped in for a few minutes during her lunchtime. Iona arrived at about a quarter to one and we spent more than an hour eating drinking and making merry. Isobel obviously enjoyed herself and her speech was fairly good, except when talking on the telephone to her mother and Jess. (This was confirmed later by Isobel's mother, it had been odd sitting beside Isobel and hearing only half of a conversation which we guessed was not making much sense, when she had been talking moderately well to us a couple of minutes before.) By the time we had finished tucking into the pizzas, we had no room for mince pies, but Isobel still had room for some of the chocolates Louisa had brought. We sat around talking for another half hour or so before dispersing.

I went back in to see Isobel in the evening. She tried to convince me she had not had tea but the record revealed she had sandwiches and pudding. She still ate two mince pies and six fancy biscuits, but turned down chocolates and finally admitted she was full! It was nice to see her relaxed and speaking clearly about how much she had enjoyed the day. Her speech was slightly better than earlier in the day, it does vary a lot not only from day to day but also within each day. I tidied up her room before leaving. For the final quarter of an hour her speech became much more jumbled. I finally left just after 9pm.

I went in to see Isobel at just before 5pm. She was cheerful and relaxed. I had a word with the staff and cancelled her lunch tomorrow, ready for the pizza party. Jane and Derek had been to see her in the morning and left a pair of very red pajamas for Isobel. Isobel spent some time trying to convince me they were Jane's which she had left behind. Jane later said that although Isobel's diction and vocabulary had been very good, it was often difficult to tease out the meaning of what she was saying. I found Isobel's speech almost as good as yesterday, until the final half hour of my visit when it appeared that she became tired and some sentences did not seem to make sense. In view of the difficulties involved in following her conversation a few days ago, yesterday and the first hour and a half today was a welcome reassurance that there is not a significant deterioration.

I had not been in long before Isobel's tea arrived. Yesterday she had sausage and chips. today she had baked potato with beans. For desert there was chocolate mousse. While isobel was drinking her tea, we delved again into Zoë's box and Isobel (with a little bit of help from me) worked he way through a small box of chocolate fudge. The pieces were individually wrapped in gold coloured foil, unwrapping this was at the limit of Isobel's ability and she sometimes needed a little help. The couple of pieces I tried confirmed that they followed the pattern of other contents of the box - very sweet but absolutely delicious.

After we had finished eating fudge we looked at more 'photos of the work in the living room. Isobel laughed to see Bill the cat sitting on top of Euan's upended sofa, where the cat has slept for the last two nights. I took some dead flowers off of the zygocactus, which as predicted is now fading fast and went home at a quarter past seven.