I went in to see Isobel at a quarter past five. I fed her tea consisting of cheese and tomato omelette followed by a rather exotic fresh fruit salad and arctic roll. Isobel washed this down with a mug of tea, but her afternoon tea was sitting cold and undrunk on the table. I reminded the carer that Isobel needed to be either given the drink or supervised to start drinking it, even if Isobel said she would drink it in a minute, if it was put on the table she would forget about it within a few seconds.

Isobel was alert and cheerful. Her speech was rather vague and it was difficult to establish the subject of some conversations. We discussed the date and how it was the last day of 2009, but she was not able to name 2010 as next year. Some time after tea Isobel had a banana to eat and finished off the last few biscuits from the tin the girls from school brought in a month ago - there are at least three more boxes and tins of biscuits in the room! By this time Isobel was showing some signs of tiredness and I left at twenty five to seven.

I had a discussion with the nurse. She said that there was no doubt that Isobel was starting to sleep for longer periods. On several occasions she had needed to be woken for meals. Following our earlier discussions, the doctor had seen Isobel today and concluded that she was sometimes failing to mention headaches (not really any surprise in this). In the circumstances she had prescribed two paracetemol three times a day. It is very likely that the longer periods of sleep and intermittent headache are a reflection of tumour growth. Another nurse mentioned that Isobel had briefly been out of her bed on Boxing Day when the air mattress failed and had to be changed, I had not previously been aware of this.

Isobel had a busy day of visits today.

Louisa and Teri from the school went in at mid-day and supervised lunch which as usual was eaten in full. They found Isobel very tired but otherwise OK.

Keith and Liz went in during the afternoon for what was intended to be a brief visit once they had seen how tired Isobel was; but Liz left her handbag behind and they had to drive back to collect it, finally leaving Isobel only five minutes before I arrived. Apart from being so tired that she dozed off a couple of times, they found Isobel in a good mood and able to talk about the film she was watching, Mary Poppins.

I arrived at ten past five and found Isobel in a good mood. She remembered Keith and Liz's visit (At the time I thought they had left half an hour before on the basis of the visitors log, I was unaware they had come back for Liz's handbag and that I had only just missed them). Isobel was a bit hazy about Louisa and Teri's visit. Isobel was certainly tired, but was still watching Mary Poppins with considerable attention. I fed Isobel her tea of spaghetti rings on a couple of rounds of toast. For some reason she had not ordered any desert, this is unusual but she said she had not fancied one. I have reservations about this statement as she would have ordered this meal early yesterday and would not have had any idea how she would feel today. I'll keep an eye on this over the next few days. It would be better to order a desert which is left partly uneaten - the staff are used to this. Anyway, Isobel will not starve as she had a banana and two lots of grapes after tea. Although clearly tired she watched a Wallace and Gromit film, commenting occasionally on the plot and characters. Isobel ate a little box of four Ferrero Rocher chocolates before I went home at 7pm.

I got carried away by the joy of hacking holes in brickwork in the living room and left late for the Centre. By the time I arrived at 5.30pm Isobel was just finishing being fed her tea. I commented on the open door of the empty room opposite Isobel's. Isobel said that she believed that Christian who had been in the room for about a month had died. I believe that Isobel is correct; there had been almost constant visitors for several weeks followed by a few days with the door shut and then the removal of Christine's name from the door. Isobel had observed this and drawn the logical conclusion, showing that she notices more than is sometimes apparent. We talked about what would eventually happen to Isobel, she was very sensible about this. This is the first time Isobel has felt like talking about the future course of her illness.

Isobel's speech was rather worse tonight than last night. At times it was difficult to ascertain the topic of conversation, especially towards the end of my visit. About an hour after tea Isobel ate four chocolates, a banana, some grapes and three biscuits. She had a beaker of fruit juice but would not drink it and declined the offer of other drinks but said she would have tea as usual last thing tonight. She did eat some more grapes before I left at about twenty to eight.

I went in to see Isobel at a quarter past five. She was bright and cheerful. I had brought a fruit bowl and she ate a banana and some grapes straight away.

For tea I fed her sausages and chips followed by pear tart. We watched Pride and Predudice on television and Isobel was able to have some discussion about the plot. She ate another banana and some more grapes. After half past six Isobel appeared to be getting tired, although she said that she was not tired. I left at seven o'clock.

I went in to see Isobel at 4pm. I think she may have been dozing before I arrived as she did not have the television on. As there is so little she can do now to entertain herself she usually has the television on during the day and she either watches it or simply has it as background noise. She was cheerful and confirmed there had been no pain in her head. She was a little peckish so she had half a dozen chocolates and a banana before tea. We chatted for a while, I explained that Iona was at Jon's family today and would not be in - she has recovered from the sickness yesterday. When I went to see if Euan was coming in today at half three I found he had gone to sleep; perhaps this was not surprising as he had been drinking spiced rum in Eynsford until Claire (a very sensible and sober person) returned him home at sometime around 4am.

I fed Isobel her tuna salad for tea. This is one of my least favourite meals to feed as it includes several substances I don't like and is fiddly to get on the fork. There was a mountain of shredded tuna with sliced beetroot, cucumber, tomato and onion with lettuce. Although Isobel always has alternative meals to order, I think she usually chooses the first one. This does not matter much as she is eating everything put in front of her. It does account for the lack of range of deserts I think. Today it was again trifle, which comes as very large helpings which are eaten in less than a minute.

After tea we settled down to watch the start of the film "The Heroes of Telemark" (an unusual film, as the reality was more extraordinary than the film). Isobel was able to discuss the the strategic significance of the events in the film at a moderate level. I had brought some grapes in and washed a small bunch which Isobel ate. I had also brought a hot cross bun in case Isobel fancied some variety, she ate this after rejecting all the varieties of biscuits in her room. We watched the film and chatted until I left at a quarter to six. It was good to see Isobel back to the form of last week-end after a few bad days this week.

By the time Euan and I had finished delaying each other we did not get to the Centre until well after 7pm. This late arrival did not concern Isobel in the slightest but the staff were fretting! Iona had intended coming in earlier but had spent the day being sick - I wonder why?

Isobel was in a relaxed mood and spent most of the time chatted to Euan about the plot of the film she was watching, one of the Pirates of the Caribbean films. Her speech was OK in short sentences but difficult to follow at other times. We had a long conversation about how she felt, she did not have a headache today, nor any discomfort at all in the place she had indicated yesterday on the right hand side.

Despite Isobel's room being full of biscuits and chocolates, I had brought in some small Bakewell Tarts and Isobel ate one of these with a beaker of tea. We did not stay long as Euan was meeting Claire at Eynsford, we left at a quarter past eight.

The first visit of the day was made early in the morning by Iona and Jon. Iona left her car in the car park for later collection. Although Isobel had apparently (I forgot to check the food log later) had her usual breakfast of a couple of rounds of toast she had gone back to sleep by the time they arrived just after ten. They stayed for a short while but Isobel showed no sign of waking so they left and came to our house. After a short while Jon left for his parents' hose and Euan and Iona started on the preparation of the Christmas dinner. This required them to go and sit in the bed watching an Indiana Jones film while I re-organised the kitchen and peeled a mountain of potatoes.

I went in to see Isobel, arriving at twenty to one. This was a flying visit, as Euan was convinced the dinner would be ready in forty five minutes. I was disappointed to find that Isobel had already had her dinner. As expected she had not left her bed. I saw the group who had dined in the lounge on the way in and it was much less than half the residents - there are a lot who do not move out of their rooms and some are much more dependent than Isobel. Isobel said that she had enjoyed her dinner. She was in a cheerful mood and her speech was much better than yesterday, even though not as good as at the start of the week. We opened a few more of Isobel's presents, mostly edible but there were two interesting pairs of angora socks which might be useful for wear in bed when she lies on the bedsheets, although the room is usually very warm (and was positively tropical today). I left at just after 1pm.

At home there was a flurry of activity, but the dinner did not appear for an hour. It was worth waiting for. The fillet steak, from "Dennis of Bexley" who have a very high reputation was the best I have tasted for many decades; beautifully flavoured but almost dissolving in the mouth. The roast potatoes were as near perfect as can be imagined, cooked in butter with fresh Rosemary. The baked peppers were merely very good, the green beans and baked beans just made up the numbers but it was overall an exquisite meal, a real pleasure to eat. Euan was the chief cook with Iona as his assistant. the only drawback was that Iona and I were unable to do justice to the very good St Emilion which accompanied the meal.

After a necessary period of relaxation after the meal I went back into the Centre at just after five. Iona felt the need to continue her post-meal lie down and watching of another Indiana Jones film! Isobel was sitting up in bed watching television. Soon after I arrived, Isobel had tea. I fed her cocktail sausages, a scotch egg, a piece of pork pie pie, a cheese and pickle sandwich and a salad sandwich. This was followed by a huge helping of trifle and cream. While she drank her tea she also had a few chocolate biscuits. I gave Isobel details of the various telephone conversations I had since my previous visit. I left soon after six to collect Iona.

I returned with Iona at just after seven. Isobel was thirsty and had two beakers of squash. We sat and chatted for a while, opening the last of Isobel's presents. I am very pleased that everything she has been given will be eaten or used. Isobel said that she was happy with the way the day had been. Iona left just before a quarter to eight, she was going on to festivities with Jon's family at one of his aunt's houses in Swanley. Today snow and ice has finally cleared from most low lying areas but there were still substantial piles of ice in the Centre car park.

Isobel and I watched Dads' Army together. She opened a small pack of rather superior chocolates my brother had given her and graciously gave me one before eating the rest! Isobel had touched her head several times during the evening and when the nurse arrived to give her the evening dose of medicines we cross examined her and established that she did have some discomfort high on the right hand side although she would not admit it was a headache. This is the same spot suspected earlier in the week. Tonight she had two Paracetemol tablets, in the past these have been completely effective at controlling headaches, but the problem will have to be watched carefully as Isobel is not willing to admit when she has pain. I am concerned that these two instances have been at the same point on the head, away from the surgery site where previous headaches have been centred. I left Isobel just before a quarter to eight, she was showing no signs of tiredness.

Finally, one piece of good news that made Isobel happy. Iona is expecting a baby. It is not due until August.

Luisa and Teri from school went in to see Isobel for three quarters of am hour this afternoon.

I went in to see Isobel at just before half five, she had already finished her tea by the time I arrived. She was in a slightly fretful mood. She had very little to say about Luisa and Teri's visit. Isobel's speech was very poor indeed this evening. We had a number of conversations in which we never managed to agree what we were talking about. This is a complete contrast to Sunday and Monday.

Isobel did not want any fruit or chocolate but ate about half a dozen biscuits. She was having problems manipulating biscuits into her mouth and needed assistance on several occasions, this is not usual. Isobel did not have any headache today and said that she had not had a headache last night after I had left. I put up the rest of the Christmas cards and two token bits of tinsel, Isobel was happy with the result. The plan for tomorrow is for me to go in during the late morning and stay through her Christmas lunch; with us eating a bit later at home.

I left Isobel at just after a quarter past seven. I felt she was worse all round today. She even moaned when I left that she would be on her own.

Wednesday's blog.

This is a late posting of Wednesday's blog as I got back very late from my brother's after drinking a lot of wine.

I went in to see Isobel just after four o'clock. She ws in a cheerful and relaxed mood. Her speech was not as good as it had been on Sunday and Monday, but was still not bad.

I put the rest of the cards up in her room and wrote her cards for the staff. I took a card down to Christine in room 25 who turned out not to be the woman I had thought she was.

Isobel had beans on toast for tea - two rounds and a mountain of beans, for once the meal took more than a few seconds to feed her. For desert she had strawberry mousse. About half an hour later she ate an orange and a bar of chocolate. I forgot to bring in the grapes, a pity as Isobel had finished those Dallas had brought in the previous day.

I believe that Isobel had a slight headache. She indicated some discomfort, but of course as soon as we started discussing this she denied it was at all bad. I had a word with the nurse before I left and she will be cross examined again about this when she has her mug of tea and biscuits in the evening. The position that Isobel indicated was high on the right hand side of the head, this is away from the original tumour site. I went home just after 6pm, for dinner with Keith and Liz.

There will be no especial arrangements for Christmas day for Isobel, apart from the Christmas menu of course. There is nothing that she wants apart from to be disturbed as little as possible. I don't expect she will join the other residents for dinner, but that is her choice. I expect I will be in there for a couple of long visits and the children will cook our steak dinner at home, it will not be like any other Christmas.

I went in to see Isobel today with Dallas who had driven down from Milton Keynes. We arrived long after lunch and found Isobel alert and chatty. Her speech was perhaps not as good as the previous day, but still much better than usual. She and Dallas had an animated conversation. Dallas had brought with her two bunches of grapes and Isobel ate about half of these as we talked.

I was surprised to be given a copy of an e-mail by the nurses. It was from one of my old university friends, Geoff Dendle, who had lost our address but tracked down where Isobel was now living from details in the Christmas card. He had known Anne and was shocked to learn the same illness had affected Isobel. He had met Isobel once about twenty years ago. I had a long chat by telephone with him in the evening.

Jane and Derek had come in to see Isobel for an hour or so in the morning; Isobel remembered their visit and made some amusing comments about Derek.

We left Isobel at about a quarter to four, it was very light compared to yesterday and the roads posed no problems (not even when we diverted into the icy narrow back streets at Maypole to deliver a present to Anneyce).

I spent most of the evening on the telephone, firstly to Geoff and then to Isobel's mother. Then I had a call from a friend of Anne's mother's advising that she was recovering from a bad fall and mild stroke and would be spending Christmas and the New Year in a nursing home at Aberaeron.

I went in to see Isobel at ten to two, hoping to entice her into the wheelchair and down to the lounge to see the dancing dog. There was no chance of managing this! Isobel was resolute that she did not want to move from her bed, not even to see an amazing dancing dog. Isobel ate a caramel bar and a small bar of milk chocolate from one of the boxes Jess had brought in. I had brought in with me the Christmas cards from home and showed them to Isobel and talked about who had sent them. I did not put any more up in her room as I had not yet done the reorganisation.

Isobel's speech was good today. Conversations in short sentences were almost faultless. With her mid-afternoon tea Isobel had scone with jam. After, still feeling a bit peckish, she had a banana and half a dozen biscuits. It turned out there were two performing dogs, and they made separate visits to Isobel's room to perform for her. Milo is a Labrador, and while I would not say that he actually dances, he does perform a series of actions in response to spoken instructions that are very impressive. It is interesting to see a heavy dog throwing himself around so agilely. He has apparently appeared at Crufts. The second dog was Josie, a border collie who was abandoned when six months old and then spent as long in a rescue kennels. Josie does a similar range of tricks to Milo, but also does spectacular jumps and pirouettes - again, not really dancing but certainly impressive. We needed to clear the main part of the room to make space for her performance. Isobel enjoyed the dogs performances and made a fuss of them afterwards.

Soon after the dogs had left, the doctor appeared and gave Isobel her swine flu jab. The doctor had decided that it was best not to adjust the dexamethasone dose as it also has a role in controlling fluid in the brain and the effects of reducing the dose were uncertain.

I sorted out the rubbish in the room and got rid of the flowers that had now died. I found an additional box of biscuits and another box of chocolates in Isobel's clothes drawers - this is as well as the tins and boxes in the warderobe and the chocolate in her bedside cabinet and the biscuits and chocolates under the television. If cut off by blizzards Isobel could probably live for a week on the food in her room! This of course reflects my advice to visitors and the difficulty in giving Isobel anything that she will use and enjoy. There is no doubt that she does enjoy biscuits, chocolate and fruit. The problem with fruit is that she needs help with it, although the carers will do this for Isobel, she will not ask. Towards the end of my visit Isobel's speech did get a little more rambling, but on the whole it has been much better than usual in the last two days.

I left at twenty to four, finding that in the last few minutes of my stay a blizzard of heavy but very wet snow had begun. The was no problem going down the sloping drive or on the lane, but by the time I got to Wilmington the snow was lying thickly on the refrozen snow and ice from last week. There were no real problems driving slowly and carefully across Dartford Heath and down the A2 although there was a long queue of barely moving vehicles on the exit lane at the Black Prince. By the time I crossed the A2 bridge and got to the bottom of Gravel Hill, less than half a mile from home, it had taken over forty minutes for a journey that normally takes fifteen minutes. Progress on Gravel Hill was very slow; as a Marks and Spencer's lorry six cars in front of me was having difficulty making any progress. It took over ten minutes to negotiate the first two hundred yards of the hill. During this time the feel of the road surface was changing as the falling snow became thinner but much drier as the temperature plummeted and the wet underlying material froze. The lorry finally stopped on the steepest part of the hill. The first four cars behind the lorry got past it with a lot of difficulty but the car in front of me had all kinds of problems, sliding broadside on to the slope. Although I had left a lot of space in front of me it was worrying to see its reversing lights come on several times. I got out of my car and spoke to the driver of the car in front who said he had been unable to make progress and was considering turning round! I pointed out a possible route through the ridges of ice and compacted snow caused by previous traffic and he managed to follow this. I checked with the lorry driver that he had given up trying to make progress and had tucked his lorry into the kerb - this made enough room for cars to pass safely just below the brow of the hill. I did a bit of ice engineering and briefed the car behind to follow me, then drove along the optimum route without any difficulty followed by at least a dozen cars, which should have cleared the route sufficiently. I was home a minute later. The saga on Gravel Hill had taken twenty five minutes for a normally thirty second drive. It took Iona over two hours to get back from Welling and both her staff meeting in Wilmington and her meal in Blackheath were cancelled. There were no sightings of gritting lorries until almost 11pm.

With a very great sense of relief I was able to visit Isobel after an interval of six days. I went in just before a quarter to five and found her in a cheerful good mood. We had a long chat before her tea arrived rather late at a quarter to six. Isobel immediately commented that she knew I had not been able to come in as I was ill. Her speech was pretty good, subject to the usual reservation that long conversations drifted off into incomprehensible areas.

For tea Isobel had ham and tomato omelette followed by trifle and cream. After tea we sat and chatted while Isobel also watched the end of an old film on television. During this time isobel ate six shortbread biscuits, a banana, a fudge mar and a small bar of milk chocolate. The dancing dog is performing again at 2pm tomorrow in the louge at the Centre and Isobel has agreed in principle to leave her bed and observe it. Those of you who know of the scorn with which she has declined to watch previous performances by the dancing dog will be surprised by this, but we will see what actually happens.

I had a long chat with the nurse. We have sorted out the swine flu vaccination; the completed authority was left in Isobel's room last Sunday and had not been picked up during the week when I did not visit; no harm has been done, she will have the jab tomorrow. We also discussed the length of time Isobel has been on dexamethasone. Now that it is not needed to maintain her balance it may be possible to reduce it, perhaps eventually to stop it altogether; this will be discussed with the doctor tomorrow. Isobel will of course be back on this steroid at some stage to control fluid within the brain. It is possible that Isobel's period of sleep is getting slightly longer but there is no clear trend at present. Today Isobel seems to have had a very slight discomfort in her head, she said it was on the left hand side (tumour position) but indicated high on the right hand side. It did not need painkillers, but we are watching for any sign of non-transient pain that may ne connected to tumour growth.

I did a bit of general housekeeping in Isobel's room, but the cards and flowers will need to be sorted out tomorrow. She was still alert and chatty when I left at a quarter past seven.

No-one from the family saw Isobel yesterday, but the reduction in visits this week does not seem to have affected her.

My brother and his wife, Liz, went in today and reported that Isobel was happy and alert and generally on the ball. As usual there was some difficulty following all the details of her speech but she was much more lively than at the timer of their last visit.

Jacquie visited later in the afternoon for over an hour and gave a very similar report, finding Isobel generally better than at the time of her last visit.

I hope to be able to visit Isobel tomorrow.

Today was the first day no-one from the family visited Isobel. I remain ill and infectious with swine flu, Iona was vomiting all day at work and thought it prudent not to visit her mother after work.

Hopefully one of us will be able to visit tomorrow; but my brother may visit in the evening otherwise.

Iona reports that Isobel is pretty much the same as yesterday.

I was again unable to see Isobel today.

Iona went in and stayed for a long time chatting. Isobel was in a cheerful mood but was not too good at following the conversation.

I am not likely to go tomorrow. Iona will go in after work (she is rostered to do a half day only tomorrow).

I did not get in to see Isobel today, as I was too ill.

June and Angie visited during the evening. Isobel was OK, her speech was fine in short sentences.

Sunday's blog

This is a very late blog for Sunday.

I went in to see Isobel at about half past four. I fed her ham omelette for tea, followed by trifle. Isobel was relaxed and in a good mood. She had a beaker of blackcurrant squash before her meal and a mug of tea after it. Isobel's speech was better than it has been for months, but I could not stay long and had to leave at a quarter to six in order to eat the chili con carne Euan had cooked. By the time I had got home I was shivering convulsively, sweating, had a blinding headache and other boring symptoms. I went to bed at 8pm, I did not surface until mid-day Monday and will not be able to see Isobel today. June and Angie are going in to see Isobel this evening.

A rather late blog for Saturday as I spectacularly overslept. We stayed up rather late on Friday night, Rhoda, Robert Euan and myself were talking in the kitchen. When I went to bed I did not sleep well in the spare bedroom, and decided to have a nap at 6pm before dinner yesterday, I woke up at 10am Sunday morning!

After breakfast on Saturday, Rhoda, Robert and myself went in to see Isobel at 10am. She was back to normal compared to the previous day, although apparently still rather tired. She was pleased to see her sister, but conversation was of course not without some difficulties. Owing to lines getting crossed Iona did not come at the same time as was originally intended, Iona was upset at not seeing Rhoda and Robert. Robert and Rhoda stayed until twenty past twelve, then said goodbye and went down to the Chequers, the pub at the end of the drive, for lunch. After they had gone I few Isobel lunch - orange juice, followed by sausages, mash, cabbage and swede, followed by syrup pudding with custard. After lunch we went through the early retirement form and Isobel signed it (this is the form she was not willing to sign last year). I then went down to the pub at twenty to one and joined Rhoda and Robert who were finishing their meal. They went off to Yorkshire soon after one o'clock. I went up to see Isobel again until about twenty past two. She was fairly tired by the time I left but had been in a good mood throughout.

This is a late posting of Friday's blog.

I went in to see Isobel just after 5pm; she had already had her tea. She was in an agitated mood and for the first twenty minutes it was difficult to understand anything that she was saying. She had obviously had a visitor as two boxes of chocolates and a book were on her table. Isobel was unable to describe the visitor beyond saying that she was a woman; and was coming back again to read more of the book to her. I asked the nurses if they knew who the visitor had been. They said the she said she was Isobel's sister. She had been with Isobel for some time and had declined their offers of food. later I spoke to Isobel's mother by 'phone and discovered that Jessica had come down to London in order to go to a concert in the evening and had driven over from Lee to see Isobel and had stayed for about four hours. possibly the duration of the visit had tired Isobel out. It was surprising that Isobel could not recall who hd visited her.

After twenty minutes it was possible to have short conversations with Isobel and she was much calmer. I had a long conversation with the nurses regarding the continuing difficulty of getting Isobel out of bed, she remains resolutely opposed to this and will not socialise with the other residents. I offered Isobel a biscuit and, as on the previous day she ate half a box of biscuits very rapidly. She was calm and tired when I left shortly after 7pm.

Rhoda and Robert arrived later in the evening, and will come in and visit Isobel tomorrow.

I went in to visit Isobel just before 5pm. I found her with an amusing bag containing a scarf and some toiletries which had been left by Miranda when she visited the previous evening. I spoke to Miranda by 'phone later in the evening; the intense pressure which she has been under at her school has eased and she is beginning to behave like a normal human being again. Miranda had found Isobel in a happy and chatty mood, although she sometimes had difficulty following Isobel's conversation. She was heartened by seeing "flashes of the old Isobel".

I spoke to the staff concerning Isobel's fall from bed on Wednesday morning. There have been no further incidents. Isobel was examined by a doctor today and no after effects could be found. I expressed the view that this fall was probably similar to the incidents which had happened very often at home, Isobel drops her legs over the side of the bed and then sort of slides out of the bed. This is not a free fall and makes no noise. The bed is always kept at its lowest setting unless someone is with her during the day, the addition of the air mattress does make the distance from the ground a few inches higher. My own opinion is that further incidents of this sort may well occur. I spoke to Isobel about the incident, she does not seem to have any real memory of it. It does not seem to have caused her any distress, either now or at the time it happened.

Isobel was again in a good mood, relaxed and chatty. Her speech was moderately good, although needing frequent clarification. After I had been in almost half an hour her tea arrived. This was tomato soup, egg salad and peaches with ice cream. As usual the food was dispatched within a few minutes, washed down by a mug of tea. We continued to chat and watched a couple of quiz programmes on television. Isobel decided she wanted a couple of biscuits, but finished off the tin brought in by her TAs - about twenty biscuits, almost a meal on their own. Although we spent a lot of time talking, the quality of Isobel's speech did not seem to change today - perhaps I am overdoing my efforts to find a pattern. Isobel was interested in my progress with the Christmas cards and had mentioned this to Miranda the previous day. I left Isobel watching the snooker on television when I went home soon after 7pm.

I went in to see Isobel at about a quarter past one. An incident had occurred earlier in the day which I was not aware of at the time, but it is mentioned at the end of today's blog.

Isobel was again bright and cheery. She had already had her lunch and was watching television when I arrived. We talked for an hour or so. Her speech was fairly good. Isobel's replies to my comments usually made sense but when she tried to change the direction of the conversation it was difficult to follow where it was going. We discussed the details of the new power sockets for the living room and it was clear she was remembering accurately how the room was laid out. Isobel ate half a dozen of the fancy biscuits delivered by the TAs from school. I tidied away some of the flowers which had died, before leaving at twenty to three.

I stopped off to pick up some electrical parts on the way home. When I got home I received a call from the Centre to say that they had intended to intercept me as I left, in order to tell me about an incident early this morning. The usual hourly safety checks had been completed but when they came to give Isobel her breakfast they found her lying on the floor. There was no physical damage visible, no bruises etc. Isobel had not called out. She had fallen a short distance from the bed in its lowest position onto the floor (perhaps twenty inches, I'll check tomorrow). She showed no signs of discomfort. We will discuss it further tomorrow, but this is why it was so important for Isobel to have the special low bed. Isobel did not mention this incident at all during my visit.

I went in to see Isobel just before 3pm. She was as usual lying on the bed. She was cheerful and her speech was fairly good. In terms of meaningful conversation this was one of the best days since she went into the Centre.

With her afternoon tea Isobel had a scone with jam. Isobel followed the programme "Countdown" on television closely, but was not able to solve any of the problems although she understood what they involved. I had to leave before Isobel's evening meal arrived as I was expecting to teach tonight, but the session was cancelled. I put away Isobel's birthday cards as Christmas cards are starting to arrive.

I have just remembered that there are photos of the birthday party last week, I'll post them here in the next few days.

Monday's blog

I left the house at 3pm with the car packed mainly with filthy perished hessian and rubber carpet underlay from the living room and a few more black sacks. I dropped this load off in the pouring rain at the Thames Road re-cycling centre and drove to Iona's house via the new road, hardly being held up at the M25 interchange although the roundabout was solid with lorries trying to force their was onto the jammed motorway. I checked Iona's house was secure, but failed to find the dog lead. I drove to the Centre, but was stuck in a jam on Green Street Green Road for twenty minutes so the planned brief quarter of an hour visit became an even briefer five minute call. I noticed from the visitors log that Chris Richmond had visited earlier in the day. Isobel seemed bright and alert, but had completely forgotten that Chris had visited, despite being part way through a packet of wafer biscuits Chris had left. I explained that this was a flying visit and that I would return after sorting out Iona's dog, but this might be as late as eight o'clock.

I drove slowly to Shorne in appalling weather conditions with very limited visibility on the A2. The boarding kennels shut at 5pm and I was anxious not to be late, I arrived at a quarter to five and there was a long delay before Billy was produced in his cat (!) box. I carefully drove back to Iona's house and fed Billy. I could not take him for a walk as the dog lead was still missing but decided to sit with him for an hour or so to help him re-adjust - it is the first time he has been in kennels. This would give a chance for the rain and rush hour traffic to ease off, there was no point sitting in a jam on the way to Isobel again. It was almost 8pm before I got to the Centre. Isobel had long since eaten her tea of corned beef and chips and was a large part of the way through Chris' packet of biscuits, I helped her to finish them off as I had not eaten since lunchtime. Isobel was cheerful, but her speech was often difficult to follow although she was again persistent in eventually clarifying what she was talking about. We had a mug of tea each and chatted until 9pm when I went home.

Iona 'phoned after 11pm to say they had just arrived back at Luton Airport after a nightmare weekend on the Canary Isles; they would get back to Stone about 3am. She reminded me Billy's lead was red, not green as I had thought, and I immediately found it. I drove over to Stone and took Billy for a walk at midnight.

Postponement of Monday's blog

Mondays blog will appear on Tuesday.
Nothing dramatic has happened but I have to go out unexpectedly at 11pm.

I had intended to visit Isobel on the way back from collecting Euan from Gravesend, but he was adamant that he needed to return straight home, so it was almost five o'clock by the time I got to Isobel. She was again in a good humour, but as usual was lying on the bed fully clothed and had not got off the bed all day. Her speech was fairly difficult to follow but she was able to make her meaning clear eventually, something that does not always happen. I gave her details of the various telephone conversations I had last night. She confirmed that Miranda had not been in to see her, something that Chris Richmond had expected to happen on Saturday, but I had not been able to get hold of Miranda to check when she was coming in. We discussed the practical difficulties of getting her and her mother to physically meet, as her mother's doctor has advised against long distance travel. Jessica said last night that she thought her mother was increasingly frail. I believe that not seeing her mother is a major regret to Isobel.

After we had chatted for over half an hour, her tea arrived. I fed Isobel prawn salad followed by trifle. She is still getting through all her food very quickly. After a mug of tea, Isobel ate the last two slices of Louisa's cake (or was it Teri's cake?). Then she moved on to finish the second half of a pack of chocolate pearls, the last remnant of Zoë's box.

By six o'clock it was clear that Isobel was rather tired, she seemed to doze off for a few seconds twice while I was sorting out things in the room. I removed a lot of dead flowers from the zygocactus; it is almost finished and will probably come home tomorrow. Isobel had perked up again by the time I left at ten to seven. I had a long chat on the way out with the nurses. We agreed it would be a wholly good thing if Isobel was to move around more, but none of us can convince to do anything outside her room or even to sit in the chair beside the bed. I spent quite a lot of time tonight cross examining Isobel about how she felt and she says that she is happy spending her time the way she does. Although she does very little, she has suffered such terrible damage over the past two years that she does not seem to need anything in the way of entertainment. Earlier today I had bumped into Jane and Derek at the shops, they commented on how scathingly Isobel had spoken about such Centre entertainments as the dancing dog! I left at about ten to seven, calling in at Iona's empty house on the way home to check everything was OK.

My visit to Isobel today was made later than usual, after I had taken Euan and his games equipment to Gravesend. Driving conditions were appalling in torrential rain. I arrived at the Centre shortly before half six. Looking at the visitors signing in log I was surprised to see Louisa and Teri had arrived soon after I left the previous evening and stayed until 8pm. When I spoke to Isobel, she had forgotten their visit, but evidence remained in the form of four slices of uneaten sponge cake.

After we had chatted for a while, Isobel asked me to turn the television on and she watched Alan Bennett with some interest. Isobel's speech was difficult to follow, a complete contrast to several other days this week. I fed Isobel two slices of the sponge cake. Afterward Isobel fancied some chocolate, so I opened the last little package from Zoë's box so she could have a couple of chocolate pearls; in no time at all she had eaten half the packet. I changed the water in the flower vase and took a large number of dead flowers from the zygocactus. Isobel was in a good humour and I left at about a quarter to eight, calling in at Iona's empty house on the way home to check everything was OK.

Having filled the car up with debris from the front room I travelled via the dump to the Centre, arriving at just after 4pm. Isobel was in exceptional spirits, although her speech was difficult to follow at first and became very difficult to follow after six o'clock. Isobel listened with interest as I described my early morning trip to Iona's, to see off Iona and Jon for their long week-end in the Canaries and to mind their dog, Billy, until it was time to deliver it to the kennels in Shorne.

I fed Isobel her tea, consisting of omelette with tomatoes followed by arctic roll. She then had a good number of fancy biscuits and a mug of tea. After six o'clock for half an hour she sustained interest in the World Cup draw on television. She asked for the nurse to be called, but when they came could not explain what she wanted and a conversation at cross purposes ensued. I settled her down again and she had a few chocolates and said that she felt comfortable. When it was time for her to be changed at about 6.45pm I left for home.

The anticlockwise M25 was solid today, and the knock-on effects resulted in chaos on a lot of local roads. Coming along the A2 I avoided the Dartford Heath turnoff as it had a tailback onto the A2 but as a result got stuck for over half an hour on the half mile of link road from the A2:M25 interchange to Princes Road. This runs alongside the M25 just a barrier width away and it was infuriating to see the jammed M25 traffic moving faster than the link road - the result of traffic trying to get onto the M25 standing in the yellow box at the Princes Road roundabout. I did not get to the Centre until twenty past five and expected to be too late to help Isobel with her tea; but it was sitting on her table, sheathed in cling film waiting for the helper to finish feeding another patient. When the helper appeared a couple of minutes later she was surprised and pleased to find me finishing feeding Isobel ham salad and going onto desert of mandarin oranges and cream. As usual, Isobel ate all the food up, very quickly.

Isobel was again in a cheerful and relaxed mood. She said that she had done nothing but lie on the bed watching television all day but had not been at all bored. Her speech was not as good as the previous two days but did not become seriously jumbled until after half past six. I told her that her sister Rhoda was coming down a week tomorrow with Robert. They were leaving Yorkshire after Robert got back from work, so would not reach us until late at night. They would come in to see Isobel on the Saturday morning. She was very pleased with this news. I wondered if she would like all of us to have dinner in the Chequers (the pub just outside the Centre), but she said she did not want to go there herself, however she liked the idea that we should go there then come back to see her again in the afternoon.

Isobel demolished the rest of the chocolates brought by Louisa. Zoë's birthday card, which must have been in transit for the best part of two weeks, finally arrived this morning, so we moved on to investigate more contents of the box Zoë sent earlier. There were some milk chocolate pearls which Isobel fed herself, although I ended up retrieving three that had escaped into the bedclothes on the far side of the bed. We agreed the unusual box was worth re-using to store items in. The pink Kalanchoe that Terri and Louisa had brought in when Isobel first came to the Centre has finished flowering and I took it home for repotting, the Guzmannia that came at the same time is still going strong, the zygocactus is still hanging on - fading but still attractive. Towards the end of my visit Isobel's speech became difficult to follow. I think there are at least two elements involved, straightforward physical tiredness and also a sort of oral tiredness which happens when she has done a lot of talking. On this occasion there was no sign of physical tiredness. I finally left just before half seven.

I went in briefly just after 11am to help Isobel open her birthday cards and check that arrangements were OK for lunch. Isobel was alert and cheerful.

Euan and I went in at half twelve with drinks (non-alcoholic) and mince pies to await the arrival of Iona with the pizza's. When we arrived we were surprised to see Louisa, who had popped in for a few minutes during her lunchtime. Iona arrived at about a quarter to one and we spent more than an hour eating drinking and making merry. Isobel obviously enjoyed herself and her speech was fairly good, except when talking on the telephone to her mother and Jess. (This was confirmed later by Isobel's mother, it had been odd sitting beside Isobel and hearing only half of a conversation which we guessed was not making much sense, when she had been talking moderately well to us a couple of minutes before.) By the time we had finished tucking into the pizzas, we had no room for mince pies, but Isobel still had room for some of the chocolates Louisa had brought. We sat around talking for another half hour or so before dispersing.

I went back in to see Isobel in the evening. She tried to convince me she had not had tea but the record revealed she had sandwiches and pudding. She still ate two mince pies and six fancy biscuits, but turned down chocolates and finally admitted she was full! It was nice to see her relaxed and speaking clearly about how much she had enjoyed the day. Her speech was slightly better than earlier in the day, it does vary a lot not only from day to day but also within each day. I tidied up her room before leaving. For the final quarter of an hour her speech became much more jumbled. I finally left just after 9pm.

I went in to see Isobel at just before 5pm. She was cheerful and relaxed. I had a word with the staff and cancelled her lunch tomorrow, ready for the pizza party. Jane and Derek had been to see her in the morning and left a pair of very red pajamas for Isobel. Isobel spent some time trying to convince me they were Jane's which she had left behind. Jane later said that although Isobel's diction and vocabulary had been very good, it was often difficult to tease out the meaning of what she was saying. I found Isobel's speech almost as good as yesterday, until the final half hour of my visit when it appeared that she became tired and some sentences did not seem to make sense. In view of the difficulties involved in following her conversation a few days ago, yesterday and the first hour and a half today was a welcome reassurance that there is not a significant deterioration.

I had not been in long before Isobel's tea arrived. Yesterday she had sausage and chips. today she had baked potato with beans. For desert there was chocolate mousse. While isobel was drinking her tea, we delved again into Zoë's box and Isobel (with a little bit of help from me) worked he way through a small box of chocolate fudge. The pieces were individually wrapped in gold coloured foil, unwrapping this was at the limit of Isobel's ability and she sometimes needed a little help. The couple of pieces I tried confirmed that they followed the pattern of other contents of the box - very sweet but absolutely delicious.

After we had finished eating fudge we looked at more 'photos of the work in the living room. Isobel laughed to see Bill the cat sitting on top of Euan's upended sofa, where the cat has slept for the last two nights. I took some dead flowers off of the zygocactus, which as predicted is now fading fast and went home at a quarter past seven.

Iona went in to see Isobel this afternoon and reported her as being well.

I did not go in until much later than usual as I was having some breathing difficulties as a result of the dust during work in the living room. I found Isobel already prepared for bed and almost ready to have her last tablets at a quarter to nine. As I came into the building one of the staff mentioned that she had been with Isobel a couple of minutes earlier and that she was half asleep. She was on her side as if sleeping but was at once fully awake and cheerful. Her speech was as good as it has been for months and we had a good chat with very few of the usual misunderstandings. I had spoken to Jane on the 'phone earlier. Jane is planning a visit for Tuesday morning and mentioned how fluent Isobel's conversation had been at the time of her previous visit, I said that I was somewhat concerned over the difficulty in conversation in the past few days, it cheered me up a lot to find her so much better tonight. Despite the lateness of the hour there was no trace of tiredness. I was able to show Isobel a picture of the state of chaos to which I have reduced the living room, she seemed unconcerned - if she had been in the house it would I am sure have been a source of worry to her.

It is Isobel's birthday on Wednesday. I must admit that last year we never expected her to be alive for her fifty seventh birthday. We have abandoned ideas for taking her out of the centre as it seems certain that the disturbance would outweigh any pleasure Isobel would get. I discussed this with her this evening and she confirmed she did not want anything done that involved moving her. I think the children will organise a low intensity pizza party in the room. It is really difficult to arrange anything for Isobel that will add to her quality of life. I went home at a quarter past nine.

I went in to see Isobel just after 5pm. I found Isobel had eaten her way through the box of chocolates Dallas and Mike had brought yesterday. Isobel had chicken and vegetables for lunch; but although she said she had just had her tea she could not remember what it had been. I thought I had arrived so late that I had missed Isobel's tea - although some patients eat in one of the communal rooms, because of the need to feed some patients in their rooms mealtimes tend to be long drawn out affairs but Isobel's weekday tea is usually at 5pm. The mystery was solved when tea arrived at ten to six! Isobel had cheese omelette followed by trifle. I looked at Isobels food intake record and she is still eating everything placed in front of her.

Isobel was relaxed and cheerful. Her speech was however again very difficult to follow, this has happened several days this week, although it does vary from day to day and within the same day. What has been unusual this week is that difficult to follow speech has not been associated with tiredness. While we chatted we finished off another box of chocolates that had just a few sweets left in it. Isobel seemed to have a little more difficulty than usual handling the sweets. Unwrapping them was sometimes too difficult for her and placing them into her mouth required concentration and effort. I stayed until a quarter past seven. It has rained on and off all weekend, although nothing like as heavily as last week. The land is saturated however and the flooding on the road home was worse than last week.

A very brief report today, as it is the early hours of the morning and I have just finished wrestling with glued together ceiling paper and wallpaper in the living room.

Iona and Jon called round early in the morning, Jon had left his car here last night when he went out drinking in Bexleyheath and Iona had brought him over to collect it before he went to footnall and she went in to the nursery for their open day.

I went in to see Isobel at mid-day today and found her in an odd mood. She had just finished dinner. She seemed worried about something but could not explain what. Her speech was much more difficult to interpret than usual. After a while she seemed content just to sit up silently in bed, very unusual. She cheered up a bit when I got out Zoe's box and she ate some almond biscuits. I left just after 2pm, she had a few chocolates before I left and seemed more relaxed but we never got to the bottom of what had disturbed her in the first place.

Dallas and Mike went in to see Isobel in the early evening. They briefly dropped in here on the way home and reported her as happier. Iona had said she was going to see her mother after the open day, but I have not heard from her yet.

Held up by rush hour traffic I did not arrive until after 5pm and Isobel had just begun to be fed her tea. I took over and she ate mushroom omelette (ugh!) followed by arctic roll. When she had finished this (in other words, about two minutes later) she had tomato soup which had been too hot to start with. As usual, tea was accompanied by a mug of tea, today Isobel had half a mug of Ribena straight after.

Isobel was again relaxed and cheerful. Her speech was however very muddled and almost every conversation needed a lot of discussion to tease out the meaning. The zygocactus still looks splendid and attracts admiring comments, but the first few flowers are starting to fade and if it behaves the way it did last year it will have finished sometime in the middle of next week. At the moment it is repaying the care lavished on it during the past year.

Isobel tried the Breton biscuits in Zoë's box and enjoyed them. She also had a few chocolates. Despite the difficulty with speech she was very chatty. As I was preparing to leave, Louisa, Teri and Sue (? or was it Toni?) arrived. Louisa was able to clear up the mystery of yesterday's visitor, it had been Chris Richmond, her old head teacher from Hook Lane School. It is a little worrying that Isobel had not been able to describe her more accurately. I left Isobel with the three girls just after seven o'clock.

Isobel had an unidentified visitor in the middle of the day. They did not sign in or out but left a box of Roses chocolates. Isobel could not remember the name but they were female and may, or may not, have been a teacher. I did not check the wallpaper for comments as we had the main room light off most of the time.

I arrived to see Isobel at 5pm. I fed her tea consisting of tomato soup, corned beef salad and ice cream with pears, with as usual a mug of tea. I gave Isobel an update on her old school friend Gaynor's illness. Isobel was again cheerful and relaxed but not quite so good as yesterday. Her speech in particular was worse. She had not been out of bed all day, although when I arrived she was lying on the bed fully dressed. Between us we ate a considerable number of the Roses chocolates, as I realised I had skipped lunch. I stayed until twenty to seven and left Isobel watching television.

Rosemary went in to see Isobel for an hour in the middle of the day. She reported that she thought Isobel was better than at the time of her last visit a couple of weeks ago. In particular it was easier to carry on a conversation, although there were still a few difficulties. Rosemary left a banana as Isobel said she fancied it but not at that time.

I went in at a quarter to five and was very pleased to find Isobel relaxed and cheerful, a great contrast to the previous day. I fed Isobel her tea. This consisted of vegetable soup, beans on toast and raspberry mousse, washed down by a mug of tea. We chatted for a while, Isobel's conversation was pretty good and she understood most of what was said to her and constructed sensible replies. She had some of the chocolates Zoë had sent - she gave me one to try, it was unbelievably sweet but that is what Isobel likes now. While Isobel was being changed I noticed an out of date fire extinguisher and will check the rest if I have time on my next visit. I went home just after seven, Isobel was still relaxed and cheerful when I left and her speech did not show any deterioration from tiredness. This visit cheered me up a great deal.

Keith and Liz went in to see Isobel at twenty to five. She was not her usual placid self as she was rather put out by the staff using a different kind of incontinence pad, instead of pants. Keith and Liz agree with the majority view on the wallpapers. I arrived just after five and they left at about a quarter past when Isobel's tea arrived.

I fed Isobel her tea of egg and chips, followed by peach flan, washed down with a mug of tea. She became disgruntled again soon after, and there was a fair bit of shouting and swearing. Since she started using risperidone there has been very little shouting and virtually no swearing. She calmed down again when finishing a packet of shortbread biscuits. About half an hour afterwards she became distraught again and there was another couple of minutes shouting and swearing, she was deflected from this by finishing off a couple of bakewell slices. After she was settled I confirmed with the staff that the pad/pants would be back to the previous ones at the next change. I went home just after seven, this is the unhappiest I have seen Isobel in the centre, hopefully normal service will be resumed tomorrow.

I went in to see Isobel at 5pm. Tea arrived soon afterwards - ham and tomato sandwiches followed by a very large helping of jelly and cream. As usual this was eaten rapidly, washed down by a mug of fruit juice. Isobel also had some shortbread biscuits shortly after.

We spent an hour or so tidying up various bits of paperwork, Isobel signed her admission form with her best signature for months but then struggled to sign another item. She has to put in such an effort to concentrate on one signature, so in future I won't ask her to do two at a time. I had remembered to bring in a bottle of Ribena, also a bottle of orange squash. I gave the nurse Isobel's NHS exemption number - it had only just occurred to me that they might need it, while they had forgotten for several days to ask me for it.

Isobel then finished off a half eaten box of chocolate truffles amazingly fast. Although she often has a box of biscuits or sweets on the table by her bed, as far as I can tell she hardly touches them unless she has visitors. We sat and chatted for twenty minutes before I went home at a quarter past seven. Isobel was fairly good during this visit; although her speech became a little worse towards the end of the visit, her general demeanor was cheerful.

Helena, who had met Isobel when they shared a room in Kings College Hospital at the time that Isobel had her operation in January 2008, went in at lunchtime with her mother to see Isobel. When they met in Kings College Hospital we found out that in an odd double co-incidence, I had taught Helena's sister at Dartford Tech and also both Isobel and I had both worked with Mark Armstrong who collaborates with Helena's father on astronomical research. Helena thought that Isobel's symptoms had not changed a lot since she last saw her. I am not sure when this was, maybe six to eight weeks ago. She did of course have some difficulty understanding what Isobel was talking about for some of the time. Helena brought some profiteroles, no doubt remembering the "cream bun diet" we used to joke that Isobel was on in 2008 when she had lost so much weight.

Helena and her mother joined the overwhelming majority in the vote for the new living room wallpaper - either it is a more obvious choice than I had thought or everyone will love it when the renovations are complete. This weekend the living room has stood empty, all twenty seven and a half feet of it, apart from a filing cabinet and the piano. Paper stripping should start on Tuesday morning.

I went in to visit Isobel in the afternoon. At first she was rather irritable, and we had a conversation at cross purposes about why I had not found out what was in Nigel's shop. Obviously Isobel was not talking about Nigel (who does not have a shop) but I could not make out what she was trying to discuss, which just annoyed her more. It is often impossible to resolve these misunderstandings; Isobel knows what she wants to say but different words come out of her mouth. Eventually we just settled for eating the profiteroles, which was much more fun. I was keen to see these consumed before I left as they were very generously covered in chocolate and would have been impossible for Isobel to eat herself without making a huge mess. I watered the various plants, but had forgotten to bring in another bottle of squash, Isobel has enough for about three drinks left. Tea was rather later than usual but I stayed to help Isobel eat it even though I had arranged for Iona and Jon to come round for a curry. For tea Isobel had tuna, lettuce, coleslaw, tomato, beetroot and cucumber; the last time I fed her this I made a mess over her clothes and on the bed, but this time passed off smoothly. For desert she had pear flan with cream and ice cream. After giving Isobel a mug of tea I went home at twenty past five.

I went in to see Isobel at 1pm. She was relaxed and alert. I brought in the zygocactus her mother had given her last year which after a summer spent hanging up in our hornbeam tree and an autumn spent dry in the greenhouse, had come back into flower. Last year it looked magnificent but the flowers did not last, it looks even better this year. A few minutes later Iona arrived.

Isobel had already had her lunch so we sat around talking. Isobel was much calmer than yesterday. I left just before 2pm in order to watch the rugby internationals. Iona stayed until after 3pm. Iona said that later on Isobel's speech became more confused. At one time she fell asleep for short time holding Iona's hand. I had been slightly worried about Isobel yesterday, it was a relief to see her so much better today.

During the early afternoon Isobel was visited by Pat Ball (Chris's mum) and Ursula who stayed for almost two hours. Isobel said she had enjoyed their visit but could not give more details and I have not spoken to Pat or Ursula yet.

I arrived at just before five, bringing Isobels new shower gels. I found her room filled by Louisa, Teri, Toni, Pam and Sue; they had arrived a few minutes earlier. I gave Louisa a bag of Hook Lane books I had found to take back to school. They left after half an hours lively chat.

Isobel was already tired by the time the girls left. Soon afterwards Isobel's tea of two rounds of cheese and ham sandwiches followed by arctic roll arrived. Isobel likes to sometimes have sandwiches or pizza as she can feed herself these. On this occasion it did not work like this as in the couple of seconds it took me to put away some boxes of chocolates I had taken off the table in order to make room for her meal, she had picked up the arctic roll in her fingers and dropped some of it on her clothes. Once she was cleaned up she dispatched the meal in two or three minutes as usual, washed down with a mug of tea. Meals never take very long. We watched a couple of quiz programmes on television. After these Isobel did not feel like talking and seemed to find it difficult to get herself comfortable. I left soon after 7pm when I think she was settling down to sleep. Perhaps it was because of the multitude of visitors today, but she certainly seemed less relaxed than other days this week.

I was up bright and early this morning preparing for the collection of nursing aids by the council. When they had removed the hospital bed, shower stool, perching stool, commode, differential friction sheet, two raised toilet seats, toilet surround frame and a large thick rubber cushion the living room was almost empty. It is disappointing that several of these items were hardly used (or in the case of the shower stool never used) by Isobel, but others had proved invaluable. Removing the wall unit near the living room door has revealed a pattern of small tears in the wallpaper that suggests the horrible possibility that instead of removing the door from the door opening when the second door to the living room was closed off sometime in the 1950s or 1960s it was left with just a thin skim of plaster over it on the inside, with wall paper on top. It always has made a distinctly hollow sound when tapped: oh well, all will be revealed when the wall paper is removed.

I went in to see Isobel at a quarter past four. She has been in the bed all day and had resisted efforts to encourage her to use Doug's old chair. Isobel's mother said later tonight that the chair had belonged originally to Doug's grandmother and was at least a hundred years old. For tea Isobel had a very large omelette that looked and smelled delicious; followed by fruit salad and ice cream. Isobel was alert and able to join in sensible discussions about a couple of quiz programmes on television, although she cannot really answer any of the questions since even if she knows the answer it is very difficult for her to find the right words to say before the answer is given on the programme. This does not stop her enjoying them!

I cleared away the flowers that Isobel's mother and Jess had sent, bearing in mind the warmth in the room they had lasted well. I reorganised the chocolates so that they took up less space, there is now room to bring in the zygocactus tomorrow if I can find a suitable dish.

We had a long and detailed discussion about redecoration of the living room. Isobel was able to contribute usefully to this. On the whole I thought Isobel was better today than for some time. I went home at a quarter to seven.

I did not get in to see Isobel until 7pm today, as I waited for a delivery from Zoë, and then Iona came round to cut my hair (it is her only finish before 6.30 this week so she is not seeing much of her mother).

Isobel was awake and alert when I arrived, but longer conversations were difficult to follow. A few minutes after I had arrived, Louisa and Teri arrived. They stayed and chatted with Isobel for about half an hour, she is always pleased to hear about the school even though she can't think in too much depth about it. They will come in again on Friday.

After Louisa and Teri had gone, Isobel opened the box that Zoë had sent. Amid much packing was another box. When this was opened it contained an interesting selection of chocolates and biscuits. Isobel ate just a couple of chocolates and I tucked the box in the bottom of the wardrobe as every flat surface seemed to be covered with either chocolates or plants. The flowers from Isobel's mother and Jess are hanging on, they have lasted well despite the heat in the Centre but will be finished tomorrow I think. I brought home the miniature roses as they are suffering from the heat and lack of light as there is not room for them on the widow sill; after a week or so of recovery they can go back in. We chatted for a long time. Isobel drank a mug of tea, a mug of water and half a mug of Ribena. By the time I left it was half past nine.

I had intended to go in to see Isobel at 2pm, but as a result of knocking over a lot of stuff in the kitchen and having to clear it up, it was almost 3pm by the time I arrived. A glance at the wall paper samples confirmed that Rosemary had visited today and voted for the same pattern wallpaper as almost everybody else. Isobel was alert and her speech was easily comprehended.

A nurse appeared and solemnly advised me that Isobel had earlier had "a lady visitor who fed her lunch", this of course was Rosemary.

I had brought with me Doug's old chair, which I now re-assembled. It may have been the oldest chair in our house but it was certainly the most comfortable. It is hoped that it will encourage Isobel to get out of bed and sit up for part of the day.

A tentative suggestion was made by a nurse that Isobel could move to a room further down the corridor, in order to make her room available for a patient who might be using oxygen and benefit from being nearer the nurses station. The alternative room was narrower and not as nice. I pointed out that we had been very lucky with Isobel settling in so well. I had not expected that the transfer to residential accommodation would go so smoothly. Isobel clearly liked her room and to try and move her now risked destabilising her behaviour. It was agreed to leave her in her present room.

I could not stay long as I had to get to Iona's bank before it closed, before going out to teach this evening. I left at ten to four after feeding Isobel a mug of tea and a few chocolates.

Isobel slept for much of the day. She was asleep when Dallas and I arrived at a quarter to five. Dallas had been at a conference in Central London and had parked her car just of Oxford Street so she could drive out to see Isobel afterwards. Once Isobel had woken up properly she was bright and alert. Her speech was much better than yesterday although it was still difficult to establish the subject of a few conversations.

I fed Isobel oxtail soup, sausage and chips and pear flan for tea. Afterwards Dallas and Isobel chatted. Dallas showed Isobel a few 'photos of the state of chaos I had reduced the house to, in order to amuse her. After sharing a few chocolates with Isobel, we left her watching television for the first time in the day at 7pm. Dallas came back to our house for a quick meal before driving back into London in order to pick up her son Robert who was working late and take him home to Milton Keynes.

Iona and Jon went in to see Isobel this morning and were surprised to bump into Keith and Liz in the car park, just leaving after a visit. I went round to Keith and Liz's house in the evening, they confirmed that they were very favourably impressed with the Centre. The had noticed just how many staff were present, almost as many as the twenty one residents (I think this may be a slight exaggeration but it is certainly well staffed). Keith and Liz had been keen to take Isobel around the grounds in her wheelchair, but she was determined not to do this. This is bit of a problem, attempts by visitors to get her out of bed invariably fail. The staff have occasionally managed to get her into the communal lounge, but she is never happy to stay out of her room for very long. She does not seem to get bored in her room.

Ten minutes after Keith and Liz left I arrived and was surprised to find Iona and Jon sitting with Isobel. Jon's football match had been cancelled today as the pitch was waterlogged. Rain has fallen for most of the past forty hours, with just two significant intervals. There are localised patches of flooding on the road down the Darenth Valley, no more than eight inches deep but still very unusual. We sat around chatting and eating chocolates until just after 2pm. I had brought in a bag of toiletries for Isobel, but Iona was scathing about my male choice - eventually she selected some suitable items from those I had brought.

I came back to see Isobel again in the evening at a quarter to seven. I measured up the space beside the bed to see if Isobel's chair from home would fit - it will, although it sticks out a long way. I may bring it in Monday or Tuesday and see how it looks. Isobel says that there is nothing else she wants brought in but although Iona did a good, quick, job of personalising the room I would like to take ths further now that we know Isobel will be staying here longer. For the past two days Isobel has had a special air mattress on the bed that automatically inflates and deflates sections according to a timer so that the pressure points are changed. This is needed because of the length of time she is spending in the bed, I know that the staff are very keen for her to get out of bed and join in some of the activities. I stayed until just after eight o'clock. Isobel's speech was very difficult to understand this evening, but she was in a cheerful mood.

I picked Iona up at twenty five past twelve and we drove to the Centre. I took in two more nightdresses for Isobel.She had already had her lunch. Isobel was not downhearted by yesterdays information. We sat and chatted for almost an hour until I drove Iona home. She and Jon are going up to central London for the Mayor's fireworks tonight.

I went back in to see Isobel after 5pm. When she spoke in short sentences she made sense, but several longer conversations were difficult to understand. She needs some more toiletries which I will take in tomorrow. We talked a lot about the weekends rugby, as well of course as eating chocolates. Her mother's flowers are on their last legs but the plants from Louisa, Teri and Pat & Den Ball are doing well. Isobel was wide awake, alert and not at all tired when I left at 6.20pm.

After being caught in horrendous traffic on the way it was 8.25am before I arrived at Iona's house to pick her up and 8.45 before we arrived at the Centre. The ambulance arrived soon after 9am and we traveled to Maidstone through torrential rain and wind. Isobel was in her wheelchair, Iona and I were also in the ambulance. Having arrived almost an hour before the appointment time, we had a long wait as Dr Sadler fell more than forty minutes behind with her appointments.

Dr Sadler explained that it was not good news. The tumour had grown significantly. There was no further treatment. I examined the scans and saw that there was considerable enhancement indicating active tumour growth at the rear of the area originally occupied by the tumour before the debulking. This area is deeper within the brain. At the moment the tumour is restricted to the left hand hemisphere. It was clear from the scan that further surgery was not practicable as the most active part of the tumour was surrounded by normal brain tissue on three sides. We measured the tumour at its widest point, it was 2.5cm by 3.9cm - this is much more than the maximum size I had thought likely. We discussed the evidence for tumour growth, it seems very probable that the two earlier scans had not picked up areas where the cancer cells were infiltrating - this is a known problem with Glioblastoma and MRI scans. During the preceding months when symptoms were deteriorating, cancer cells were infiltrating healthy tissue and as they continued dividing and multiplying there was at first no sign of this on the scans until the cancer cells had displaced the bulk of the healthy tissue, We discussed Isobel's future care. Dr Sadler was not previously aware of the Peter Gidney centre but said that it sounded exactly the sort of place that Isobel should be, she did not believe that it would be possible to look sfter Isobel at home. There is no point in Dr Sadler seeing Isobel again as she can offer no further treatment.

Isobel took the bad news well. She was a little upset in the ambulance on the way back to the centre, but this was understandable. We got back to the centre and they very rapidely produced lunch, Isobel had ham, chips and mushy peas. For afters she had rice pudding. I gave the nursing staff details of what had transpired. I saw Margaret Nicholas, the head of the centre, and agreed to convert Isobel's respite break into a permanent placement. Iona and I left at after 2pm and travelled home via Louisa's house.

I 'phoned Maggie Williams at Bexley Care Trust. She was on leave but i spoke to her deputy. I advised what had transpired at the consultants, she will convert Isobel's stay to a permanent one. She will speak to the district nurses regarding recovery of the home nursing equipment.

Everything is arranged for tomorrow. The ambulance will arrive at the Peter Gidney Neurodisability Centre at about 9am for the 11.05am appointment with Dr Sadler. Isobel will have an early breakfast. I will pick up Iona at about 8.15am and be in the Centre by half eight. I am anticipating we will return no earlier than 2pm; it may be rather later.

I went in to see Isobel at about 1pm. She had already eaten dinner. We went through the arrangements for tomorrow, Isobel understands what will happen although her grasp of timings is rather vague. I explained that Euan would not be able to come with us a he has an appointment at 9am. There was also some doubt over Iona as she was ill today, vomiting through the night. Isobel was in a good relaxed mood. I left just before 2pm. On the way home I called in at Iona's workplace to confirm what was going on.

I went back to see Isobel at half seven. She ate chocolates, drank tea and squash and chatted. Her language was more rambling than earlier in the day. I said I thought Iona would be fit enough to come to Maidstone tomorrow although she did not confirm this until some time after I returned home. I confirmed with the night staff the arrangements for tomorrow. Isobel was not showing any signs of tiredness when I left her at a quarter to nine.

Jane and Derek went in to see Isobel for an hour this morning but I forget to talk to them before their early bedtime. All I know is that they expressed their preference for the same one of the wallpaper samples that everyone else has chosen.

I went in earlier than usual to see Isobel this afternoon as I was tutoring in Petts Wood tonight. She was happy but did not have much to say about Jane and Derek's visit today, or about Jacquie's visit yesterday. She had a slice of cake with a mug of tea. I left before her evening meal arrived, at about a quarter to five.

It is just a matter of waiting for Frisday now.

I had a chat by telephone this morning with Sarah Parker from the Ellenor Trust. She confirmed her view that Isobel's condition has deteriorated to such an extent that she will never be able to be cared for at home again.

I went in to visit Isobel at 5pm. She had just started tea and was feeding herself bacon sandwiches very effectively. For afters there was jelly and cream, she was not able to feed herself this so I helped her. Isobel drank a mug of tea by herself, using a feeding mug. I had brought in a box of blackberries, Isobel demolished these very quickly.

I noticed that Isobel had chocolate on her clothes and bedclothes. What Isobel did not tell me, and had presumably forgotten completely was that this had occurred when Jacquie visited earlier in the afternoon. I did not find out that Jacquie had visited until she e-mailed me later. Jacquie did not find Isobel's condition encouraging, this was not encouraging as she had seen Isobel in the Queen Elizabeth Hospital less than two weeks ago and was well placed to judge changes.

Isobel's language became more vague before I left. I left early at 6.30 as Iona was coming over for dinner with Euan and I.

After our meal Jess phoned to say that Isobel's mother had been advised by her doctor not to undertake at present the journey to see Isobel.

Another short blog as I am shattered and still have a bad headache.

After a desperate wrestle with the dining room table in the early hours of the morning, victory was achieved this morning after removing the dining room door in order to get a critical three quarters of an inch of room. A slightly less difficult manoeuvre got the table into the study (the table is considerably wider than the doors). All the books and some of the furniture and boxes are now out of the living room, but most of the tedious packing of glassware and ornaments remains to be done. The re-arranging of the study has also been time consuming but will allow much more to be stored in it while work is done in the living room. At several times over the past few days it has seemed as if I should have followed my original plan of hiring some storage space, but this rearrangement will work, albeit at the cost of a lot of time and effort.

Maidstone Hospital confirmed the rearrangement of the ambulance trip for Friday. I went in to see Isobel in the late afternoon. She was in good humour, sitting up on the bed fully dressed. We had a discussion with the nurse regarding the benefits of getting out of bed for part of each day. There have been no problems with bed sores etc but this has only been due to luck. The nurse confirmed that Isobel usually seemed to be cheerful. She has the television on most of the day, although the amount of attention she gives it varies.

Isobel had corned beef and chips for tea, followed by yogurt. While I was with her she drank two mugs of tea and three mugs of squash, so there is no problem with her fluid intake. She understands that she may not see much of Iona this week as she starts her new job. By six o'clock Isobel's speech had become difficult to interpret although otherwise she did not seem tired. We ate some chocolates and I left her watching television at a quarter past seven.

I spent the morning shifting hundreds of books around the house, working solidly from 9am to 1pm. They are all very neatly packed in the study, mainly underneath my mothers dining room table. I moved various items of furniture around but it is depressing to see how much more needs to be done and how slow progress is. Getting the new dining room table out of the living room is proving a problem, I can't recall how I got it in there thirty six years ago. By 1pm when Iona called I was tired and had a blinding headache. Iona stayed for the best part of an hour before going off to collect Jon, who was exhausted after football, and going on to visit her mother.

After doing the shopping I had another go at moving the dining room table and failed again, I did not get to the Centre until after 5pm. Isobel had already eaten her tea and was just finishing a mug of tea. She was alert and did not seem at all tired. I had a long chat with the nurse, they are satisfied she has settled in well but would like to get her out of bed more. I will bring some trousers in for her. The recording for the incontinence assessment has been completed, they are just waiting for the formal agreement. I dropped off the last of Isobel's pants we had. I explained that I had advised Maidstone Hospital of the revised residential address for this Fridays ambulance but was awaiting confirmation from Dr Sadler's secretary. The nurse said that Maidstone Hospital usually operated a two hour lead time on ambulance transport, so it would probably arrive at about 9am; I will travel with Isobel. It was no surprise to be told Isobel was eating and drinking very well.

I again forgot to bring in the tray for the kalanchoe. Isobel had seen Jon and Iona earlier. There had also been another visitor who we eventually established had been Donna.

We discussed the problems with re-organising furniture in the house. I will 'photograph the chaos so that Isobel can have a good laugh at it. We ate a few chocolates. I left at about a quarter past seven, Isobel was watching "Time Team" on television.

Another short blog, as a result of myself and Iona getting our lines crossed today, Isobel only had one visit.

I went in at lunch time, but Isobel had already eaten. She confirmed Iona had not visited in the morning, Isobel was sitting up in bed very alert. I asked her what she had eaten for lunch, but as I suspected she could not remember even though she was finishing her lunch time tea when I arrived. This poor short term memory is almost normal now but does not seem to affect Isobel's day to day life very much. We sat and chatted for a while. I must remember to take in a saucer for the Kalanchoe blossfeldiana tomorrow. We ate a few chocolates and I put Isobel's bed to a flatter position. I explained how I had been moving books around the house all day and how I had reduced the house to an even worse state of chaos then normal - Isobel laughed, but I suspect I would have got a stronger reaction if she could have seen the result.

I left Isobel at half one, explaining how I would ne watching rugby this afternoon with my brother. She does not want a very early visit tomorrow.

A short blog today.

Iona went in to see Isobel in the morning but she was still sleeping soundly, an after effect from yesterday no doubt. Iona left new slippers and slipper socks for Isobel.

I visited in the late afternoon and found Isobel awake. It appears that she had slept on and off for much of the day, but she was alert and speaking clearly. She had omelette and arctic roll for supper, washed down by a couple of mugs of tea. Afterwards Isobel ate a lot of chocolates. I stayed until half seven and left her watching television with no sign of tiredness.

Isobel was deluged by visitors today. I went in briefly at 1pm as I had to get back to Bexleyheath for a 2pm appointment. Isobel was alert, speaking clearly and had already had lunch. I left before the next visitor, June, arrived. Then Iona arrived, bringing Euan to see his mother for the first time since she was rushed into Queen Elizabeth Hospital last week - he has been laid low by a succession of illnesses. June had brought another installment of bakestones (Welshcakes), Isobel enjoyed some and passed the remainder on to me (yum!).

Iona brought Euan home, leaving June with Isobel. Iona then led Louisa and Teri to the Centre. By the time they got there June had left. I went in again at a quarter past six to see if Isobel wanted to view the firework display; not surprisingly she said she was too tired. She had already had ham salad for tea and did not want any biscuits or chocolates. She had a mug of tea at half seven. She went to sleep several times but woke after a few minutes and was generally restless. Her speech was much more confused than it had been earlier in the day. She finally settled down to watch football on television (her new found interest in sport continues) and was still awake when I left at half eight.

While I attempted to empty the contents of the study into every other room of the house, in order to convert it into a more efficient store-room for its original contents and the contents of the living room, Iona sat with her mother. They discussed the choice of wallpaper for one wall of the living room and stuck examples up on the wall of Isobel's room! Iona stayed until about 3pm, then went home before I had arrived.

I arrived at 3.45pm having been delayed trying to sort out various bank accounts. Isobel was alert and her speech was easily understood at first. For dinner Isobel had vegetable soup, spagetti rings on toast and jelly with cream; all washed down by a mug of tea. My metal belt buckle suddenly broke into three pieces and I spent the rest of the day holding my jeans up with one hand.

Some beautiful flowers had arrived from Isobel's mother and Jess. As they were in a cellophane reservoir and the only vase was short and wide I considered leaving them until the next morning when they could be put in a taller vase, but when I checked them I found the cellophane reservoir had already leaked most of the water out. I made a big mess in the bathroom trimming the stems but the wide vase allowed them to be seen at their best.

Isobel finished her tray of chocolates then had a couple of biscuits and a mug of tea for supper, she will nor starve in here. I left at ten to eight, she was still awake but her speech had become poorer and it seemed likely she would soon be asleep. On the way home I went to Sainsbury's in Crayford. When I got home I found I did not have my door keys. Euan had fallen asleep and did not answer the door. Fearing that I had dropped them as a result of efforts to hold my jeans up, I retraced my steps to Sainsbury's and the Centre. Arriving at the Centre at a quarter past nine, I was surprised to find Isobel still awake and watching television. I did not find the keys and after chatting for a few minutes I went home via Iona's house, borrowing her keys. I found I had left my keys in the house. If I had not accidentally returned to the Centre I would have assumed Isobel was asleep long before 9.15pm.

Iona arrived at the Centre at noon, having overslept by hours. Perhaps we are still recovering, because I slept from midnight to after 9am. isobel was sitting up in her wheelchair. At the Centre Iona met the Ellenor nurse who is taking over responsibility for Isobel from Sarah Parker now that Isobel is outside the Bexley boundary.

Iona fed Isobel her dinner of Shepherds Pie with cabbage and carrots, followed by an excellent piece of Bakewell Tart. I arrived at a quarter to four and Iona left at about half four. The staff put Isobel back to bed, she is getting used to the hoist. I thought Isobel looked very tired compared to yesterday. Isobel had baked potato and beans for tea followed by chocolate mousse. She was not as chatty as usual but ate a lot of chocolates. There is no doubt that her speech was more confused in the late afternoon and early evening, possibly as a result of her tiredness. Isobel got a little upset after 7pm, I think this was because she did not like the TV programmes available but it was difficult to make out what she intended to say. She dozed off within a couple of minutes but woke again just before half seven and was relaxed as normal. After a bit of talk she fell asleep again and I came home.

On Monday morning Iona went into see Isobel at 11am. They watched a film together and ate chocolates. Isobel had fish, boiled potatoes and mushrooms for dinner, followed by rice pudding. Isobel was very relaxed today and spoke about how much she liked being in the centre. In the afternoon Isobel had a slice of marble cake with her mug of tea.

I arrived at 3pm and instead of leaving as planned, Iona stayed on for the best part of an hour. Margaret Nicholas, the head of the centre dropped in for a chat. In the first instance Isobel's stay is treated as a two week respite break but this will be reviewed next week and Margaret is confident of a smooth extension if that is medically justified. The centre are aware that Isobel is seeing Dr Sadler at Maidstone Hospital on the 13th and that transport previously arranged will be reorganised to pick her up from the centre.

I fed Isobel her tea of sausages and chips followed by pear and cream flan. The staff commented on her healthy appetite! An incontinence assessment is underway, the staff could not understand how this had been in progress with the District Nurse at home since August without being completed. They are also keeping an eye on her blood sugar levels as one reading had been high in the normal range - it would be rather worrying if blood sugar levels rose as it might indicate increased tumour activity. Isobel was not as tired as on previous days. I went home just before 7pm.

In the morning I had a long telephone conversation with Sarah Parker from the Ellenor Trust who said that the Peter Gidney Centre was the best place for Isobel in her view. She did not think Isobel could be looked after at home any more.

A very late blog for Sunday, as I simply forgot to write it. We are now coming to terms with not having Isobel at home and are catching up on other tasks that have been left undone for months.

Iona and Jon went in to see Isobel equipped with a large box of clothes, ornaments and pictures. Iona spent hours sorting and fixing the photos and the room now looks as if Isobel lives there. They were still there when I arrived at half four; and left at about six. Isobel was bright and alert, later on she watched a James Bond film. I fed Isobel her tea; tuna salad with coleslaw. Isobel is eating and drinking well according to the staff, she drank two beakers of squash and two beakers of tea while I was there. I don't have any concerns about how she is being looked after. Her speech remains about the same - short sentences usually make sense but any attempt at a long conversation soon gets bogged down in confusion.

We are now beginning to plan for other visitors, although Isobel's mother has an infection and will not be able to visit until next week (Jess will drive her down). I stayed with Isobel until about a quarter past seven, she began to get tired and I left her with the room lights off but the television on, I expect she fell asleep soon after. Since she moved to the Peter Gidney Centre Isobel has ended every visit by dismissing the visitors when she became tired!

Blog entries may become shorter now as they will concentrate on Isobel, not what the rest of us do. Just as well today, as a reaction set in to the efforts of the past few months and we all wasted a lot of time doing things really slowly and feeling tired.

Iona and I went in to see Isobel in the early afternoon. She had eaten breakfast and lunch. We gave her some tea and squash and sat around chatting. Her room now has some personal effects to make it look more welcoming and we will add more over the next few days. We also took in the wheelchair, she will spend part of the time sitting in it. Isobel has been fairly calm according to the staff. She talked to us very sensibly most of the time and seemed happy with her new surroundings. She has not tried to leave the bed although the staff found her sitting on the edge of the bed this morning. After less than three hours isobel said that she felt tired, and asked us to go. I think this was a good sign that she feels comfortable there.

Overall the transition to the unit seems to have gone smoothly, despite the rest of us making heavy weather of setting up her room!

Iona and I went to the Queen Elizabeth Hospital soon after mid-day. Isobel had, as she had promised, eaten breakfast. The mention of a CT scan yesterday had been a mistake, she did not have one. By chance I bumped into Chioma, the Macmillan nurse who had finally got Bexley Care Trust to agree to the transfer and was able to express the family's gratitude. I fed Isobel dinner - shepherd's pie, mash and beans. Iona and I sat with Isobel for a while then had a rather nice dinner in the canteen. After the meal Iona went home to await a 'phone call to pick me up from the Peter Gidney Unit.

I sat with Isobel until well after 4pm waiting for the ambulance. At times Isobel was upset by the wait and shouted and swore; but at other times she dozed. The ambulance crew arrived, They were based at Whipps Cross Hospital in north London and had come in on a rest day to do one trip, then been told they were on shift until 7pm. We planned a route to Darenth using their SatNav and set off to join the A2 at Well Hall. We found the roads clogged and the A2 slip road sealed by police who advised that a jumper was on the Danson overbridge and the A2 was closed. We invented an alternative route by the A20 and made it to Darenth without significant holdups; the A20 became gridlocked behind us I later found out. I suggested the crew got home via the M25 and A12 as everywhere south of the river seemed to be seizing up - probably good advice although I think the hold up on the Dartford crossing approach would have been more than the fifteen or twenty minutes I estimated.

The Peter Gidney Unit is a single story building in a rural setting. We soon had Isobel settled in her room and the formalities of arrival were completed. Iona and Jon arrived. Isobel had missed dinner so she had a couple of ham sandwiches and arctic roll for afters, washed down by two mugs of tea. She was cleaned up and settled down to watch television. We left soon after half six. It took almost an hour to get home, even though Jon chose probably the quickest route, the whole of the area seemed to be one giant traffic jam. I will complete the personalisation of her room tomorrow.

The morning was largely spent on telephone calls again. I was satisfied the the Macmillan nurses were doing eveything they could to arrange a transfer for Isobel.

I picked up Iona from her house as she had left her car at our house, we shopped in Greenhithe before going back to Bexleyheath. Jacquie, Isobel's old friend from work decades ago, went in to see her at 2pm. I went over a bit later but had to park miles away as my usual parking spot near Cemetery Lane was full; I did not get in until a quarter to three. Isobel had refused breakfast and lunch so the nurses asked me to try and feed her a sandwich. I had already fed her some chocolate and she was happy to eat the sandwich and drink a mug of tea. Jacquie had already got her to drink some orange squash.

From the ward I spoke by telephone with the hospital's Macmillan nurse who advised that she had just arranged a transfer for the next day, not to the hospice but to the Peter Gidney Unit. Immediately afterwards Maggie Williams from Bexley Care Trust telephoned the ward and asked to speak to me, she seemed rather put out that Isobel had been admitted to the Queen Elizabeth Hospital and asked if she had been transferred direct from Maidstone Hospital - I don't know where she got this idea. I explained the circumstances including the professional view of Rosemary at the Ellenor Trust regarding Isobel's safety and the judgment of the ambulance crew when they arrived on the scene, bearing in mind that a bed at the Bexley & Greenwich Hospice had been expected to be available on Wednesday and it was close to the Queen Elizabeth Hospital. Maggie Williams stressed that Bexley would not make any transport arrangements and I should remind the hospital that this was their job (!).

It was agreed that I would come to the hospital soon after mid-day tomorrow with clothes for Isobel and accompany her on the journey. The hospital did not see any problem with arranging transport. Jacquie and I stayed with Isobel until almost 5pm.

I arrived back at the hospital just before half past seven. Isobel's bedclothes had been changed again, she had eaten dinner (although she could not remember what she had eaten) and was in a relaxed state. I fed her chocolate and gave her a mug of tea. She will have a CT scan tomorrow morning, this is unexpected but it will be interesting to compare the results with the MRI scan. Isobel went to sleep at about 9.40pm, I stayed until almost 10pm. She is pleased to be leaving the hospital tomorrow and has promised to eat breakfast!

After a brief sleep I woke at 9am to begin a morning of 'phone calls. I won't go into these in detail, but it became apparent that a hospice bed was not available for Isobel today. Later in the day it was learned (from the nurse caring for Isobel at the QE Hospital) that there had been a hospice bed available briefly but it had been taken by an even more urgent case. The only people I could not reach in my sequence of 'phone calls was the District Nurses whose contact number was permanently engaged.

In the middle of the morning a District Nurse arrived to see Isobel. Although Euan had told other District Nurses last night that his mother was in hospital, the news had not filtered through at ground level.

Iona came over in the late morning. The pharmacist at QE Hospital phoned with a query regarding Isobel's medication and she confirmed that Isobel was in a stable condition and had been examined again by a doctor.

Jon's work team had completed their quota early and were released an hour or so before their usual finish time. Jon picked up Iona and went onto the hospital. They were under strict instructions not to stay for too long and to go out to the cinema in the evening in order to relax Iona. Iona 'phoned from the hospital, rather agitated because her mother was lying on the floor of her single bed room after "escaping" from the hospital bed. It was learned that at one stage she had crawled out of the room on hands and knees covered in excrement. After some discussion it was apparent that her usual antipathy to hospital beds had manifested itself again and the hospital was probably dealing with it in the best way. Jon rather gallantly investigated the most soiled garments and placed them in a position where the smell was taken out of the room.

After grabbing an hours sleep and doing some shopping I went into the hospital in the evening. Isobel was still on a mattress on the floor. I fed her the final part of her evening meal, a large helping of some sort of fruit purée. Isobel confirmed she would not sleep in the hospital bed, so she was better off on the floor. Isobel was very relaxed and calm. Isobel and the room had been cleaned up. She was able to converse fairly sensibly in short sentences. The nurse tasked with looking after Isobel during the night said that the hospital had not been able to locate their low bed (a type of bed discussed with the representative of the Peter Gidney Centre, the mattress can be lowered to floor level in order to minimise the risk of falling) but had placed the mattress on the floor as the next best thing - this is without doubt true. The nurse was concerned about Isobel's fluid intake and over the course of half an hour I got her to drink a beaker of orange squash, a small container of apple juice that had come with dinner and a mug of tea. The nurse supplied the contact number of the Macmillan nurse who was trying to sort out the transfer, I will 'phone her in the morning and make sure that she is aware of Isobel's full history and contact details for other parties interested. Isobel confirmed she wanted nothing more to eat or drink and went to sleep at about half past nine. I only stayed about ten minutes after she had gone to sleep.