Isobel will be cremated as she wished. There will be a short service before hand.
The funeral will be on Monday 19th July at 3.30pm at Falconwood Crematorium.
More details at the weekend.
Thursday 1 July 2010
Tuesday 29 June 2010
Isobel's death. Friday 25th June.
Although it may sound strange, it was pleasant to sit with Isobel through last Thursday night. She was completely relaxed and at peace. She was so weak that in the past few days any kind of disturbance set off a period of erratic or laboured breathing, but once her syringe driver had been adjusted, all the way through Thursday night she breathed steadily although shallowly. She was asleep all the time, although her eyes were often open. Even when she was washed and put in a clean nightdress early in the morning, the disturbance to her breathing was brief.
When I got home on Friday morning I spent an hour painting, then woke Euan. He had largely recovered from the problem with his hands. We planned to return to the Centre at mid-day or soon after. I had breakfast and did some tidying, then had a leisurely bath. While I was in the bath Iona phoned to say that Isobel's breathing had become erratic. Euan and I quickly left for the Centre. At one point Iona thought her mother had stopped breathing and called the nurse to check if she was alive, but as the nurse arrived Isobel took a breath.
Euan and I arrived at the Centre at 12 noon. Isobel was was still just as relaxed but her breathing was somewhat erratic - she would be breathing normally but would sometimes pause for the length of time normally taken for several breaths before breathing again. It was good judgement by Iona to phone us when she did and hurry up our return to the Centre. There was no indication that death was imminent and her condition remained stable for about half an hour. At half past twelve there was a change in the breathing pattern, breathing became more erratic and progressively more variable, some breaths shallow and others deep. At no time was there any struggling for breath. Within a few minutes it was clear that this was the final stage. Nothing dramatic occurred. Isobel's appearance did not change and was still peaceful. The space between breaths increased until it was almost a minute. Isobel drew a breath at 12.45 and did not breath again. After two minutes I felt certain she had died. As I stood up to fetch the nurse to check, a change in skin texture took place, I have not seen this before when someone dies. Iona pointed out that her arms had developed goosebumps. the nurse came and confirmed that here was no pulse or other signs of life. We sat with Isobel until Dr Mohan arrived rather more than half an hour later and examined Isobel and completed the necessary paperwork.
Isobel had a gentle death. For her it was a release, there was nothing left to keep her alive. The damage done to her brain by tumour growth in the final few weeks must have been terrible. Myself, Euan and Iona did not feel any desperate sense of loss at this time. We have had long enough to think through what was happening and to prepare ourselves. We felt it was just a release for Isobel. She has borne so much in the past few years.
When I got home on Friday morning I spent an hour painting, then woke Euan. He had largely recovered from the problem with his hands. We planned to return to the Centre at mid-day or soon after. I had breakfast and did some tidying, then had a leisurely bath. While I was in the bath Iona phoned to say that Isobel's breathing had become erratic. Euan and I quickly left for the Centre. At one point Iona thought her mother had stopped breathing and called the nurse to check if she was alive, but as the nurse arrived Isobel took a breath.
Euan and I arrived at the Centre at 12 noon. Isobel was was still just as relaxed but her breathing was somewhat erratic - she would be breathing normally but would sometimes pause for the length of time normally taken for several breaths before breathing again. It was good judgement by Iona to phone us when she did and hurry up our return to the Centre. There was no indication that death was imminent and her condition remained stable for about half an hour. At half past twelve there was a change in the breathing pattern, breathing became more erratic and progressively more variable, some breaths shallow and others deep. At no time was there any struggling for breath. Within a few minutes it was clear that this was the final stage. Nothing dramatic occurred. Isobel's appearance did not change and was still peaceful. The space between breaths increased until it was almost a minute. Isobel drew a breath at 12.45 and did not breath again. After two minutes I felt certain she had died. As I stood up to fetch the nurse to check, a change in skin texture took place, I have not seen this before when someone dies. Iona pointed out that her arms had developed goosebumps. the nurse came and confirmed that here was no pulse or other signs of life. We sat with Isobel until Dr Mohan arrived rather more than half an hour later and examined Isobel and completed the necessary paperwork.
Isobel had a gentle death. For her it was a release, there was nothing left to keep her alive. The damage done to her brain by tumour growth in the final few weeks must have been terrible. Myself, Euan and Iona did not feel any desperate sense of loss at this time. We have had long enough to think through what was happening and to prepare ourselves. We felt it was just a release for Isobel. She has borne so much in the past few years.
Saturday 26 June 2010
I had intended to write an account of Isobel's last day, but will now do this tomorrow.
Today Iona and I cleared out Isobel's room at the Centre. We had not been looking forward to this but it only took about an hour and we felt much better afterwards. A separate trip was made to collect the wheelchair which I will return to the Bexley Wheelchair Trust next week. The only item remaining to be removed from the Centre is Doug's old chair, it must be over a hundred years old but was extremely comfortable.
I will be seeing the undertakers on Monday about the funeral arrangements. In line with Isobel's wishes her body will be cremated. Locally there is a backlog of cremations owing to furnace renewal, so the funeral may be delayed longer than usual.
Today Iona and I cleared out Isobel's room at the Centre. We had not been looking forward to this but it only took about an hour and we felt much better afterwards. A separate trip was made to collect the wheelchair which I will return to the Bexley Wheelchair Trust next week. The only item remaining to be removed from the Centre is Doug's old chair, it must be over a hundred years old but was extremely comfortable.
I will be seeing the undertakers on Monday about the funeral arrangements. In line with Isobel's wishes her body will be cremated. Locally there is a backlog of cremations owing to furnace renewal, so the funeral may be delayed longer than usual.
Friday 25 June 2010
Friday night
Most of the readers of this blog will already have heard from me by phone, or indirectly through third parties.
Isobel died at 12.45pm today.
She suffered no pain and was relaxed for the last day.
More tomorrow.
Isobel died at 12.45pm today.
She suffered no pain and was relaxed for the last day.
More tomorrow.
Friday morning
Isobel's condition is only a little weaker than 24 hours ago. She was seen again by the doctor yesterday afternoon. Her mix of medications has been adjusted and increased; her syringe driver is now attached to what I call a horse syringe. She remains unresponsive, although I believe she sometimes still hears sounds as very slight reaction to noises sometimes occurs. The increased medication is doing a good job of keeping fits at bay - the increased tendency to fitting is a result of ever increasing brain damage as a result of tumour growth.
Iona was greatly buoyed up during Thursday afternoon by a long chat with Martha, the former Ellenor nurse standing in for Dawn Dark who is on leave. Martha confirmed that there was no hope of survival for more than a day or two. Euan and I went into the Centre just before 7pm last night. The increased medication has also controlled the tremors of left arm and leg, these are now rarer and much less intense. Iona went home at a quarter past eight, taking Euan with her - he has had a worrying problem with his hands swelling up and ran a fever overnight so he has not been getting too close to his mother even when he was in the Centre.
Isobel had a restful night. Some laboured breathing took place during the evening but breathing was relaxed and steady throughout the night. Isobel was washed and had a change of nightdress before 7am. After, her breathing was laboured for about twenty minutes but then settled down again.
Iona arrived at 8am and I went home for some sleep a few minutes later.
Iona was greatly buoyed up during Thursday afternoon by a long chat with Martha, the former Ellenor nurse standing in for Dawn Dark who is on leave. Martha confirmed that there was no hope of survival for more than a day or two. Euan and I went into the Centre just before 7pm last night. The increased medication has also controlled the tremors of left arm and leg, these are now rarer and much less intense. Iona went home at a quarter past eight, taking Euan with her - he has had a worrying problem with his hands swelling up and ran a fever overnight so he has not been getting too close to his mother even when he was in the Centre.
Isobel had a restful night. Some laboured breathing took place during the evening but breathing was relaxed and steady throughout the night. Isobel was washed and had a change of nightdress before 7am. After, her breathing was laboured for about twenty minutes but then settled down again.
Iona arrived at 8am and I went home for some sleep a few minutes later.
Thursday 24 June 2010
Thursday afternoon
There has been no major change in Isobel's condition. She remains completely unresponsive. Breathing is more shallow and at times labourered. Drug doses have been modified and are controlling the tendency to have fits at the moment. There is no indication that she is in pain (the cocktail of drugs being administered constantly by syringe driver includes some morphine).
Iona and Jon were with her through the night; I took over at 7am; Iona returned at 1.30pm. I am about to get a couple of hours sleep before taking over from Iona at 6pm.
Unless anything happens, next blog will not be until tomorrow morning.
Iona and Jon were with her through the night; I took over at 7am; Iona returned at 1.30pm. I am about to get a couple of hours sleep before taking over from Iona at 6pm.
Unless anything happens, next blog will not be until tomorrow morning.
Wednesday 23 June 2010
Wednesday
I went back to the Centre at 11.30am. While I had been away Iona had gone to her midwife appointment. Euan had observed a number of major fits and emergency medication had been injected. After this Isobel's condition stabilised for the remainder of the day, although minor tremors of the left hand side continue.
We are rotating attendance with Isobel so that there is always one family member with her, usually two. We graciously permitted Euan a trip to Gravesend in order to watch World Cup football. The night shift to about 7am Thursday is being covered by Iona and Jon (they have forced me to go home!). Euan and I came home at 10.20pm.
During Wednesday there has been no major change in Isobel's condition. She remains relaxed. She is asleep for about 70% of the time and apparently unaware of her surroundings for the remainder of the time. Her breathing is shallow but regular. The syringe driver remains in place.
We are rotating attendance with Isobel so that there is always one family member with her, usually two. We graciously permitted Euan a trip to Gravesend in order to watch World Cup football. The night shift to about 7am Thursday is being covered by Iona and Jon (they have forced me to go home!). Euan and I came home at 10.20pm.
During Wednesday there has been no major change in Isobel's condition. She remains relaxed. She is asleep for about 70% of the time and apparently unaware of her surroundings for the remainder of the time. Her breathing is shallow but regular. The syringe driver remains in place.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)